Weddings

Gay man shares heartbreaking reason he refuses to pay for his daughter’s wedding

Mishti Ali March 28, 2022
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(Stock image by Getty)

A gay man has explained the heartbreaking reason he’s refusing to pay for his daughter’s wedding ceremony.

Taking to the notorious Reddit page ‘Am I the A**hole’, the dad explained that he and his ex-wife had their daughter when they were 18 and they married soon after. After six years of marriage, the dad worked up the courage to come out as gay to his wife after “finding himself” and they went on to have an amicable break-up and divorce.

Now at 39-years-old, he is also a father to a two-year-old son with his new husband of 14 years. Explaining that his 21-year-old daughter was always “daddy’s girl”,  he had promised to pay for her wedding since she was a little girl – but something happened which forced him to change his mind.

His daughter is planning the ceremony for her upcoming nuptials and not only is she banning both his husband and young son from the event, she’s also asked him to hide his sexuality from her soon-to-be new in-laws.

The dad, posting under the username LargeSeat3093, explained: “Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding; I said: ‘OK it’s your day.’

“My son can’t attend either. No, it’s not going to be a child-free wedding. I can’t talk about my ‘lifestyle’ because she doesn’t make her in-laws uncomfortable.

“Therefore, I told her that if her in-laws are so important, they should pay for the wedding. She got mad at me and called me a child and said that if I keep on with this ‘attitude’ she’ll ask her [future in-laws] to walk her down the aisle.

“Then I said: ‘Fine, if my family isn’t welcomed and I’m excluded, I’m not paying for the wedding.’ She was furious and said I was being selfish, picking favourites, and not thinking about her at all.

“She complaints that they can’t afford the wedding since they are both too young and reminded me it was a promise I made. So, am I the a**hole here?”

Although the gay father explained that even his ex-wife had called him selfish for making the decision to withdraw funding for the event, many of those in the Reddit community came forward with support for the father’s decision.

User photosbeersandteach said: “Not the a**hole. She can’t disrespect and try to hide your marriage while also expecting you to pay for hers.”

Others also suggested that since she chose to prioritise her in-laws in her plans for the wedding, she should ask them to pay.

User FoolMe1nceShameOnU was resolute in their response.

“Oh sweetie. The moment your own daughter told you that your partner was not welcome at her wedding because of her homophobic in-laws, you became absolutely not the a**hole,” they explained.

“You are not required to pay for an event – not even your daughter’s wedding, not even if once-upon-a-time you promised her you would – at which your life partner, the man you love, the father of your other child, and a man WHO HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO HURT OR BETRAY YOUR DAUGHTER IN ANY WAY (most importantly) is not welcome to stand by your side as a welcome member of your family. Period.”

More: Homophobia, reddit

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