Culture

Gwyneth Paltrow eating her own vagina candle and 7 more epic Super Bowl 2022 adverts

Patrick Kelleher February 14, 2022
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Gwyneth Paltrow looking intensely at a black candle

Never change, Gwyneth. (YouTube/UberEats)

The best Super Bowl 2022 adverts, from Gwyneth Paltrow eating a vagina candle to Doja Cat singing Hole.

Yes, some people watch the Super Bowl to watch sport, but the rest of us are watching to see Hollywood’s biggest names wheeled out to sell products – and the 2022 Super Bowl did not disappoint.

From Schitt’s Creek legend Eugene Levy’s spectacular makeover to Gwyneth Paltrow eating her vagina candle, the ads at the Super Bowl made us laugh and, in some cases, made us want to cry.

We take a look at some of the best ads to debut during the Super Bowl 2022.

1. Doja Cat singing a new version of a classic Hole song was everything we needed

Doja Cat starred in Taco Bell’s first Super Bowl ad in five years – and it didn’t disappoint.

The advert shows Doja breaking out of clown school before rushing to Taco Bell. Best of all is her cover of Hole’s classic song “Celebrity Skin”, which plays in the background.

To make the whole thing even better, the rapper reworked the lyrics of the song with none other than Courtney Love herself.

2. Eugene Levy gets a spectacular makeover for his Nissan ad

Eugene Levy made waves with his spectacular makeover in Nissan’s Super Bowl 2022 advert.

The actor and comedy legend, who amassed a legion of queer fans for his role as Johnny Rose in Schitt’s Creek, starred alongside Brie Larson, Danai Gurira and Dave Bautista in the advert – and Catherine O’Hara even makes an appearance.

The ad starts with Levy looking pretty much as you might expect, but by the end, he has transformed into a typical action movie star with long hair, tattoos and a leather jacket.

3. Vroom gave us the Broadway musical inspired advert we craved

The Super Bowl is mostly very straight, which is why Vroom’s Broadway musical-inspired advert was such a welcome breath of fresh air.

The 30-second La La Land homage follows a woman as she decides to sell her car – but everything falls apart when she gets a text to say the buyer has pulled out. Naturally, she goes on to sell it on Vroom instead.

The instantly iconic advert comes complete with complex choreography. Now we just need the full Broadway musical, please and thank you.

4. Planet Fitness helped Lindsay Lohan joke about her own reputation

Most people will be aware that Lindsay Lohan’s journey through fame hasn’t always been easy – she became a tabloid mainstay following her rapid ascent to fame, and she’s struggled with addiction along the way.

That’s what makes her recent comeback so spectacular. Lindsay Lohan is back in action, and she proves that spectacularly in her new Planet Fitness advert.

The advert poses the question: “What’s gotten into Lindsay?” The paparazzi are missing her and she’s traded “DUIs for DIYs”. The answer, of course, is Planet Fitness.

5. Lizzo debuts a new song in the Google Pixel 6 advert

Lizzo is always a joy to behold, and her voice helped elevate Google Pixel’s minute-long Super Bowl 2022 advert to new heights.

The advert makes the point that camera technology has failed to accurately represent darker skin tones – which is where the Google Pixel 6 comes in.

The advert shows a series of pictures of people of colour – including queer people of colour – taken on a Google Pixel 6. A new song from Lizzo called “If You Love Me” plays in the background.

6. Miley Cyrus singing about 5G is more entertaining than it sounds

Charity singles are pretty much the bane of our existence – they almost always end up being patronising towards those they claim to help.

That’s what makes Miley Cyrus’ T-Mobile advert so entertaining. The clip sees Miley singing a fake charity single for 5G phones. “Let’s do it for the phones,” she belts.

To make it even better, she’s helped along and inspired by her real-life godmother Dolly Parton.

7. Jennifer Coolidge and Gwyneth Paltrow gave the gays everything they wanted

Jennifer Coolidge is practically queen of the gays, which is why we were so thrilled to see her turning up in Uber Eats’ new advert.

In the ad, Coolidge, Gwyneth Paltrow, Trevor Noah and Nicholas Braun get confused when they discover that Uber Eats is now delivering non-food items.

“If it was delivered with Uber Eats, does that mean I can eats it?” Jennifer Coolidge asks while holding tin foil.

In what might be the ad’s funniest moment, Gwyneth Paltrow slowly takes a bite out of her own vagina candle.

8. Dolly Parton got her own starring role at the Super Bowl

The Super Bowl wouldn’t be complete without Dolly Parton, which is why we’re so glad T-Mobile gave her a special slot.

In her hilarious ad – a precursor to Miley’s fake charity single – Dolly delivers an appeal to people at home to rescue 5G enabled phones from networks that don’t have 5G capability.

The advert ends with Dolly getting a call from Miley where they discuss ways to “help the phones”.

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