Jesy Nelson hit ‘breaking point’ during a Little Mix video shoot
Jesy Nelson of Little Mix performs on stage at British Summer Time Festival. (Christie Goodwin/Redferns via Getty Images)
Jesy Nelson has revealed that she was “miserable” before leaving Little Mix – and she finally hit breaking point while shooting a music video.
The singer, who announced in December 2020 that she was leaving the girl group after almost a decade together, opened up about her decision to call it quits in an interview with Cosmopolitan.
In a candid and emotional conversation, Jesy Nelson revealed that she often felt consumed by her insecurities while in Little Mix and she “constantly compared” herself to her bandmates. Since leaving, Nelson has started to feel like herself again.
“I can’t believe how miserable I was,” Nelson confessed.
“The last music video we did [“Sweet Melody”] was the breaking point,” she continued.
“We’d been in lockdown, and [that had been] the first time I could have a break and be at home around people that I love.
“It was the happiest I’d ever felt, and I didn’t realise that until I went back to work. I immediately became a different person. I had anxiety.
“Whenever we had a music video, I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to try and lose weight. I have a fear of looking back on the camera. If I don’t like what I see, I find it so hard to be in front of the camera and feel amazing and perform.”
Jesy Nelson had a panic attack while shooting the video for ‘Sweet Melody’
Nelson said she had “put on a bit of weight” in lockdown and initially didn’t care – but she started to panic when she was told they would be shooting the music video.
She went on an “extreme diet” and “tried to eat as little as possible” ahead of the shoot – but the pressure proved to be too much.
“On the day of the ‘Sweet Melody’ video I had a panic attack on set because I didn’t look how I wanted to look and I found it so hard to just be happy and enjoy myself,” Nelson explained.
“I looked at the other three and they were having the time of their life.
“I get so jealous, because I want to feel like that and enjoy it, because music is my passion. To have this dream and not be enjoying it because of what I look like, I knew wasn’t normal.”
Jesy Nelson said there is a scene in the music video that she is entirely absent from because she was “sobbing” in her dressing room while it was being filmed.
The experience made her realise that she needed to start looking after herself, and she ultimately decided to leave Little Mix for her mental health.
Elsewhere in the interview, Nelson said she is currently in the studio recording solo music. While she “loved” the music she made with Little Mix, it wasn’t the kind of music she listens to.
The singer said it “feels so nice” to be making music that she loves, adding that she doesn’t yet know when she’s going to release solo material.
