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Lesbian parents use TikTok to help other queer couples weed out ‘weirdos’ when seeking sperm donors

Patrick Kelleher January 15, 2021
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Kayla Ellis and family on TikTok sperm donation

Kayla Ellis has been helping would-be parents conceive safely at home through private artificial insemination. (TikTok)

A lesbian couple is using TikTok to help educate other queer couples on the ins and outs of accessing private sperm donation.

Kayla Ellis and her wife were unable to afford the sometimes prohibitive costs of accessing a sperm bank – so they took matters into their own hands.

They now have a son after they decided to go down the private sperm donation route, and Kayla’s wife is pregnant with their second child who was conceived with the help of the same donor.

Kayla is now intent upon helping other queer couples who want to start a family, but can’t afford the fees associated with sperm banks.

She has more than 100,000 followers on TikTok, where she shares tips with LGBT+ people hoping to start a family about how to find a private donor – and how to ensure the process is entirely above board.

Lesbian couple accessed sperm donation privately to avoid high costs.

Kayla told Insider about their experience, explaining that they quickly realised they couldn’t afford to conceive using a sperm bank when they decided to start a family in 2019, with one vial of sperm costing around $900.

It was then that she came across an app called Just a Baby, which helps would-be parents match up with those looking for sperm, egg and embryo donors.

Kayla spent a month sorting through “weirdos” who wanted to have sex as part of the arrangement before she finally found a donor who wanted nothing other than to give a queer couple the chance to start a family.

“He wasn’t doing it to get anything sexually out of it,” Kayla told Insider. “It was just him telling us that he was very passionate about this. He really wants to help other people create a family and he feels like part of his life’s work is to help other people, especially people in the LGBT community, who don’t have that option.”

Ever since she got pregnant by using a private sperm donor, Kayla has been helping other parents do it safely and legally through her popular TikTok account.

@theellisisland17Reply to @fallen_angel822 How to use preseed!! ##pregnancy ##momsoftiktok ##gaymoms ##2momsarebetterthan1 ##lgbtfamily♬ original sound – Kayla Ellis

In one video, she tells people what equipment they need to buy in order to ensure a smooth and successful private insemination.

She has also dedicated her account to educating people on how they can ensure they don’t end up in a legally tenuous situation, where the donor could claim parental rights.

Ellis also discourages people from going with donors who refuse to provide STI test results, or those who won’t sign a contractual agreement that ensures legal protection.

“I wouldn’t consider them because I feel like that is just leaving the door open for something to happen,” she said.

“You can never be too careful with your babies.”

 

Related topics: LGBT parenting, tiktok

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