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Parenting

Hannah Graf grew up thinking that being a trans woman meant you were ‘unlovable’

Patrick Kelleher December 27, 2020
Jake Graf (R) shared a tender snapshot of he and Hannah's new addition to their family. (Twitter)

Hannah and Jake Graf welcomed their first daughter in April. (Twitter)

Hannah Graf has said she grew up thinking that being a transgender woman meant you were “unlovable”.

Graf, who made history when she became one of the UK’s first transgender parents alongside her husband Jake Graf, opened up about her journey to self-acceptance in an interview with Glamour magazine.

Hannah Graf said her first date with Jake was her “first ever date” as she could never imagine having an intimate relationship prior to meeting him.

“Prior to transitioning the idea of being intimate with someone was a very big deal for me,” Hannah said.

“I was just starting to be happy and Jake added me on Facebook. When he said he wanted kids, I replied ‘sure, OK’.

“I honestly never thought I’d be a parent,” she added. “I grew up in a world where mainstream films like Ace Ventura ridiculed trans women.

“I knew very early on that to be trans is to be unlovable,” she said. However, meeting Jake showed her that she was worthy of love and that trans people can live full, happy lives – just like cisgender people.

Hannah Graf questioned whether her ‘maternal instincts would be there’.

Hannah also opened up about what it was like to become a mum, saying: “I had a lot of hang ups on my role as a mother and questioned whether my maternal instincts would be there.”

She said those hang ups continued throughout their surrogate’s pregnancy, but were quickly dispelled once their baby was born.

“I remember a moment. It was about 4am and Millie was sleeping on my chest. I realised she is utterly dependent on me. She is the focal point of our life.”

In the same interview, Hannah’s husband Jake reflected on his journey to becoming a dad, saying he “always wanted” to become a father.

Six years after he transitioned, Jake made the decision to have his eggs frozen so he could have children one day.

“I was single at the time and I went to the women’s clinic in London to get my eggs harvested,” Jake said.

“I remember sitting in the waiting room and there are women there with their partners. Here I was sitting alone with all of this judgement around me such as strange looks from perplexed people who were wondering what on earth I was doing there.”

Jake and Hannah Graf announced the birth of their daughter in April, saying they “could not be happier or more grateful”.

The British couple first discussed their intention to have a baby in 2018, and later announced to the press that they used a surrogate for Jake who froze his eggs before his gender-affirmation surgery when he was 36.

Hannah, 32, formerly the highest-ranking trans officer in the British Army, left her position in 2018 to clock-into a finance job and prepare to help raise a child.

 

More: hannah graf, Jake Graf

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