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Charlie Carver was slapped across the face by a gay co-worker for being too ‘effeminate’

Rajdeep Singh October 1, 2020
Charlie Carver attends the 73rd Annual Tony Awards

Charlie Carver attends the 73rd Annual Tony Awards (Photo by Bruce Glikas/WireImage)

The Boys in the Band star Charlie Carver revealed to Variety that he was “chastised” not once, but three separate times at an Emmy Awards party by a gay former colleague.

The incident happened five years ago, but Carver is speaking out now.

“I was told that I needed to ‘get it under control’ around people in the business,” he said.

The 32-year-old went on to say that another altercation occurred while waiting at the valet – he ran into his former co-worker again and asked him for clarification on what happened.

Instead, the man slapped Carver across the face.

“It wasn’t playful but intentional, pointed and meant to be instructive. A slap,” the actor said.

“I told him that if he ever touched me again, I would name him.”

He revealed that this incident had been a major turning point for him to be his true self and not hide anymore.

“That was the moment when I said to myself, ‘I can’t do this. I cannot police myself in that way.'”

‘I was different from some of the other boys in my grade’, Charlie Carver says.

The actor came out on Instagram some months after the Emmy incident. He posted five Instagram posts, talking about his struggles with being gay and finally internalising it.

Each post was a quote saying: “Be who you needed when you were younger”.

“Over time, this abstract ‘knowing’ grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: ‘I am gay,'” Carver said in one of his heart-wrenching posts.

View this post on Instagram

Pt 1: “Be who you needed when you were younger”. About a year ago, I saw this photo while casually scrolling through my Instagram one morning. I’m not one for inspirational quotes, particularly ones attributed to “Mx Anonymous”- something mean in me rebukes the pithiness of proverbs, choosing to judge them as trite instead of possibly-generally-wise, resonant, or helpful. And in the case of the good ol’ Anonymous kind, I felt that there was something to be said for the missing context. Who wrote or said the damn words? Why? And to/for who in particular? Nonetheless, I screen-capped the picture and saved it. It struck me for some reason, finding itself likeable enough to join the ranks of the “favorites” album on my phone. I’d see it there almost daily, a small version of it next to my other “favorites”; I’d see it every time I checked into the gym, pulled up a picture of my insurance cards, my driver’s license…. Important Documents. And over the course of about-a-year, it became clear why the inspirational photo had called out to me. As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things! I thought I wanted to be a painter, a soccer player, a stegosaurus… But the acting thing stuck. It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade. Over time, this abstract “knowing” grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: “I am gay”. I said them to myself at first, to see how they felt. They rang true, and I hated myself for them. I was twelve. It would take me a few years before I could repeat them to anyone else, in the meantime turning the phrase over and over in my mouth until I felt comfortable and sure enough to let the words pour out again, this time to my family…

A post shared by Charlie Carver (@charliecarver) on

In his fifth post, he summarised saying: “So now, let the record show this – I self-identify as gay. And does that really matter anymore?

“As a young man, I needed a young man in Hollywood to say that – and without being a d**k about it, I owe it to myself, more than anything, to be who I needed when I was younger.”

Carver is perhaps best-known for portraying the werewolf Ethan on the popular MTV’s Teen Wolf, alongside his twin brother Max, 32.

Update: An earlier version of this article used “actor” instead of “co-worker” in its headline. PinkNews is happy to have corrected this and updated with relevant information.

More: charlie carver, coming out, Gay, the boys in the band

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