This lesbian hid her sexuality for a decade. Now, she’s a ‘coming out coach’ to help others like her leave the closet
A lesbian who hid her sexuality for a decade has become a ‘coming out coach’ to help others open up to their families.
Megan Pulvermacher from Minneapolis is a full-time therapist and LGBT+ life coach who’s set up her own business, Living Head First, to help LGBT+ people overcome their anxieties.
She speaks from experience: If her mother hadn’t forced her out of the closet at 23, she probably would have stayed there forever.
“My family’s views on homosexuality are not good and that’s because of their religion,” she told the Metro. “I was terrified they’d disown me and for a long time I wanted my homosexuality to go away. I hoped it was just a phase, just to make my life easier.”
Pulvermacher tip-toed around her sexuality until a girlfriend ended their relationship because she couldn’t deal with the secrecy. Sensing her heartache, her mother dragged the truth out of her.
“My ex asked me to pick between her or my family, and there was no way I was going to tell my parents, so our relationship ended. I was distraught, I wasn’t eating properly and it was obvious that something was wrong.
“My mom picked up on my mood and just straight up asked me if I was in love with her.”
To her surprise her mother was supportive and comforting, and although her father continues to “ignore” the fact that she is gay, the traumatic experience of hiding her sexuality gave her the tools to help others in a similar situation.
“I help people develop skills and habits so they can build the best lives for themselves,” Pulvermacher explained. “I learned how to overcome my anxiety and fear when I came out, so I decided I want to help other people do the same.
“I offer one-on-one coaching because everyone’s coming out story is different. The main thing is self acceptance, once people have accepted what makes them happy and why, then you can learn how to let go of negative thoughts.”
She employs a number of different techniques, depending on the type of coaching that’s needed.
“One type of therapy that works very well is reflective therapy, where I go through why people feel like they do and ask if it’s based on fact or just a thought in their mind. Often negative thoughts make people have low self esteem and make people feel bad about themselves,” Pulvermacher said.
“There are things you can do to make coming out to your family much easier, as well as the aftermath of it. My life is so much better after coming out.”
After years of feeling like she’d “failed” her parents, she’s now putting her own wellbeing first, and she’s all the better for it.
“I am really happy now in my own self-acceptance. No one should be afraid of who they are and if I can overcome these challenges, then anyone can.”
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. . I used to think I was broken, a product of failure, an embarrassment, and unworthy of the the full-scope of love. Why?? ? . . We all have limiting beliefs that come up for us and keep us frustrated and STUCK in thoughts and behaviors that keep us from living the lives we really want ??♀️ . . One way to INTERRUPT the impact of these beliefs, is to trace them back to their origin. When did we start thinking & believing these bullshit things that led to bullshit behaviors?? ? . . It’s a painful, sucky process…but in doing the work to dig back into what was said/done, what we heard/perceived that the meaning, what we started to believe because of it, and how we subsequently started to think and behave…we empower ourselves to change the script.? . . What limiting beliefs have you experienced??????