Trans radiologist gives an honest, intimate and vulnerable account of her journey to accepting her true gender identity
A radiologist at the Mayo Clinic recently came out as trans, sharing an eye-opening thread about the impact on her of a life spent in the closet.
Evelyn Carroll is a resident at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, a nonprofit medical centre that recently reaffirmed its commitment to equal rights for its trans patients after Donald Trump removed discrimination protection in healthcare settings.
She began her transition in December last year, after years of soul searching.
Evelyn then came out as trans on Twitter this Pride Month, in a thread of tweets that have gone viral for their honest, intimate perspective on what it’s like to come out as trans.
“Today, I finally get to share something very personal that I have been hiding from my friends, family, co-workers, and for a long time quite frankly myself, and that is my true gender identity: a woman,” Evelyn posted on June 5.
“I have been struggling with my gender identity for my entire life. From a young age, I always knew something was significantly different about me. It felt analogous to the deep discomfort and burden of keeping a dark secret.
“But to make matters worse, I didn’t even truly understand what the secret was. In high school I developed the language to better understand my internal gender identity struggle, but I was too afraid to admit to myself that I could be transgender.
“But of course, the persistent feelings of wanting to be a female, and what I now realise in hindsight was gender dysphoria, never went away.
“Despite the constant self-loathing and social anxiety caused by my gender dysphoria, I thought I would take my secret to the grave. Foolishly, I believed getting married and having a family would solve my gender dysphoria once and for all.
“I found out rather quickly I was wrong and will carry that guilt with me for a very long time. The mental gymnastics I had constantly performed throughout my life trying to convince myself that I was a straight cisgender male eventually became too much to bear last year.
“With the encouragement from my very supportive ex-spouse, I finally built up the courage to see a gender therapist to discuss my gender identity for the first time in my life. In the fall of 2019, I finally became self-accepting of my gender identity as a woman.
“I am no longer ashamed and embarrassed of my gender identity like I had been for so long. In December 2019 I began enacting steps designed to lessen my sense of gender dysphoria and start my gender transition.
“Transitioning to my authentic self has been by far the most difficult thing I have ever done and I have a long way to go. But just being myself when I was able to this year has never felt easier and so freeing.
“Never have I felt so aligned with my inner sense of self. And, I cannot possibly describe just how incredible it feels to not have to hide anymore. My name is Evelyn and I’m a woman.”
She added, on June 12, a picture of herself and her new Mayo Clinic staff card.
The image of a smiling trans woman has since been liked almost 400,000 times.
Brought my authentic self to work for the first time in my life! It felt so good to just “be me” ? pic.twitter.com/SQKflOX1v3
— Evelyn Carroll, MD (@EvCarrollMD) June 12, 2020