A 66-year-old woman tried to sue ‘all gay people’ and the jokes wrote themselves
The time a Nebraska woman tried to sue every gay person in existence in 2015 has, of course, become a meme in 2020.
Yes, she was suing every single gay person on the planet. Every single one. And can we really blame her?
A screen capture of a New York Magazine article about her case – Driskell vs homosexuals – has resurfaced online five years later, and a new meme emerged.
Twitter users “lawyered up”, sharing who they’d defend should they be summoned to court.
And, yes, before you, ask, Legally Blonde‘s Elle Woods was first picked, and then in came everyone from Ally McBeal to the Blue-Haired Lawyer from The Simpsons.
I’ve lawyered up. Have you? pic.twitter.com/5LMooQJrCg
— Joseph Longo (@josephlongo_) May 18, 2020
— j (@fka_j) May 19, 2020
— Holesome daddy (@daddy_no_) May 19, 2020
— Michelle Pfizer (@turnandstomp) May 19, 2020
— Josh Withey ❀ (@josh_withey) May 19, 2020
So, wait, why was a 66-year-old woman from Nebraska suing all gay people?
Firstly, yes, it was a real case.
Plaintiff Driskell “Ambassador for Plaintiff’s God, and His, Son, Jesus Christ,” wrote a seven-page, handwritten complaint against the defendants “Homosexuals, Their Given Name Homosexuals Their Alis Gay [sic].”
It’s unclear what laws, if any, she thought to evoke in doing this, but she acted as her own lawyer and demanded that the District Court in Omaha decide, once and for all, whether being gay is a sin.
“That homosexuality is a sin and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality,” the complaint stated. “Why else would they have been hiding in the closet.”
“I’m 66 years old, and I never thought that I would see the day in which our Great Nation or Our Great State of Nebraska would become so compliant to the complicity of some peoples lewd behaviour.”
Through some sufficiently curly cursive, Driskell based her arguments on the Bible and the, er, Merriam-Webster dictionary.
“Why are judges passing laws, so sinners can break religious, and moral laws,” the complaint continued. “Will all the judges of this Nation, judge God to be a lier [sic].”
The civil-rights case was assigned to Judge John M. Gerrard, who – you’ll be shocked to know – ended up throwing out the complaint.