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Trans woman and her cis wife reveal the outrageously inappropriate questions they get asked by complete strangers

Nina Lecourt and Lily Wakefield May 13, 2020

A trans woman and her cis wife have revealed the ridiculous and inappropriate questions they get asked by strangers.

Zoey came out as trans to her cis wife Kelly after ten years of marriage and two children, on New Years Eve 2018. They have now been married for almost 12 years and are still completely in love.

In a video for PinkNews, the couple described the horrendously inappropriate questions they get asked by complete strangers.

Kelly said: “We’ve had people ask if I’m still interested in the… generic male body parts. Like, really blunt questions. People touch [Zoey] inappropriately.”

Zoey added: “People seem to think because I’m transgender that they can get away with asking these sorts of questions.

“The silliest question I’ve been asked is whether I’m now attracted to men. I have never been attracted to men.

“Gender and sexuality are two completely different things. If you are transgender, it doesn’t mean that your sexual preferences are going to change.”

When Zoe came out to her wife, she feared she would lose everything.

“I have been at odds with myself for many, many years”, said Zoey of her transition. “I’ve questioned my gender identity since I was a child, probably about eight-ish at the earliest, and suppressed it for many years since.”

She said she only had the courage to come out because of her wife, but Kelly insisted: “I don’t think I did anything, apart from love you. You’re still the person I fell in love with. You’re happier and you’re just more you.”

Kelly described her reaction when Zoey came out: “On a selfish level, I was thinking, ‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’ But on a selfless level, I can’t imagine how hard that was for you.”

“It was horrible,” added Zoey. “I’ve always hated keeping things from you. But I was so worried about losing you and the kids and everyone.”

The couple said that they explained Zoey’s transition to their children “gently”. They asked them, when they still used the term “daddy”: “How would you feel if daddy was to wear these clothes more often?”

But, Kelly said, the kids “weren’t bothered”. She added: “It was literally like it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re happy. They’ve been amazing.

“They just don’t see the world in a judgemental or a black and white way. They just don’t.”

More: cisgender, coming out, lgbt families, love, marriage, trans woman, Transgender, transphobia, wife

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