There’s now a Tiger King dildo inspired by Joe Exotic and it comes complete with a Prince Albert piercing
‘Tiger King’ Joe Exotic was jailed for trying to have an animal rights activist murdered. (Netflix)
We are saddened to confirm that you, the reader, and us, the publication, live in a world there somewhere there is a dildo inspired by Tiger King star Joe Exotic.
And that is something we, as a civilisation, as a species, must all live with for all of eternity. There was a time before the Exotic dildo, and now only time after the Exotic dildo.
It will collectively haunt humanity for all of eternity. We are sin.
Oh, but did we mention that it stays true to its muse and has a Prince Albert penis piercing, a padlock and an array of other piercings down the side.
? Want to win our Tiger King dildo?! And Say, ‘Fuck you, Carole Baskin’!??
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Winner announced 29th April 2020#TigerKing #TigerKingNetflix #Giveaway
Available: https://t.co/F74fhlsF77 pic.twitter.com/Xv4bznKxhp
— Sinnovator (@SinnovatorHQ) April 22, 2020
Tiger King dildo is going ‘save the tigers, one orgasm at a time’.
The dildo is sold by sex toy and fetish gear website Uber Kinky, and its product description contains absolute zingers that all deserve to be framed and strung-up in the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art.
Such as: “Say ‘F**k you, Carole Baskin’ with the Sinnovator Tiger King Realistic Dildo!”
Or: “Had some kinky sex like Joe Exotic?! Well, the Sinnovator Tiger King Realistic Dildo will open you up to a whole new world of perverted possibilities. Indeed, there’s nothing cooler, sexier and more significant to the world we live in!”
And who could forget: “This big chunk of meat will fulfil animalistic instincts and satiate the hungriest of holes.”
For £84.99, customers can get their, uh, hands on this tiger-printed dildo that stretches eight-inches-high and come in an array of other colours, including rainbow.
Gay rights? Maybe, probably not.
But the dildo – which can be used as a strap-on, too – will see 10 per cent of profits be donated to charity Tiger Watch, with Uber Kinky encouraging users to: “Save the tigers, one orgasm at a time.”
So you don’t have to, here is the direct link to the WikiHow guide on “How to forget something horrible you saw on the internet”.
No need to thank us.
