Bisexual YouTuber Melanie Murphy candidly shares miscarriage fears in first pregnancy video
Bisexual YouTuber Melanie Murphy recently announced that she is pregnant, and in her first video about her pregnancy journey she addressed why she didn’t share the news sooner.
She announced the news on Instagram at the end of March, when she was three months pregnant.
This month, in her first video about her journey, she explained that she had waited to share the news out of fear of losing her baby, but that she now also wanted raise awareness about the lasting effects of a miscarriage.
She said in the video: “It’s weird because in my head I keep referring to this and thinking about this as my first pregnancy, but it’s not. I had a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage when I was 19… It was unplanned. I didn’t have very many symptoms.
“I was really unhealthy at the time in a really toxic relationship where I felt very unsafe. Because it was unplanned, I was still drinking at the beginning of that pregnancy rather heavily. I was on the pill as well, and the pill failed because I vomited it up one time.”
Murphy described being 19 as “Melanie’s year of awful depression” and said the entire year was “a blur”.
The bisexual YouTuber got extra scans for “peace of mind”.
Melanie Murphy said her anxiety throughout the first trimester of her current pregnancy, saying that she was constantly checking for bleeding.
The bisexual YouTuber explained that she originally wanted to speak about her pregnancy early to dispel taboos around miscarriage, but it turned out to be too difficult.
“I know a lot of YouTubers talk about their pregnancies like really early on like six weeks or eight weeks”, she continued, “and they’re trying to get rid of the taboo around miscarriage.
“I thought I would be one of those people. I really thought that, like, you know me – I’ve made videos all about periods and orgasms and just all of the things, I’m very open and yet this it just felt like a very precious time.
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“I didn’t even vlog I wanted to do early pregnancy vlogs and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it just in case I did lose it. I actually went for two early scans got those scans just for peace of mind.”
Melanie Murphy is dealing with pregnancy as well as coronavirus lockdown.
Melanie Murphy said that being pregnant and being on lockdown because of coronavirus has been a “strange experience”.
She said: “I feel so isolated from all of my friends and family. Of course, I can text them and stuff like that, but it’s just not the same.
“I am very extroverted person and this is a huge life step, like a huge change for me. And I have no one around me to really talk about it with other than obviously, people I’ve already talked about it with to death.”
She added on Instagram that being pregnant during the pandemic is scary as well as strange, and said: “Although I’ve not bonded yet with the little thing growing inside of me, I feel fiercely protective of it.”