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‘Delusional’ man can’t bear to see his lesbian crush with a woman and it’s the definition of toxic masculinity

Patrick Kelleher March 5, 2020
Lesbian writes to advice columnist male friend possessive

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A lesbian has written to an advice columnist because her straight male best-friend has an “intense” crush on her and “can’t stand” the thoughts of her spending time with a woman.

The woman wrote to California newspaper The Mercury News for advice as she doesn’t know what to do about her possessive male friend.

Writing to advice columnist Jeanne Phillips, the woman said: “I am a gay woman. My male best friend has had a crush on me for more than a year. It is so intense that he is almost delusional. We have talked extensively about it.”

The lesbian said her male friend knows where she stands and that nothing will ever happen between them, but for some reason, he can’t quite get the message.

The lesbian said her male friend doesn’t like her spending time with other women.

“He can’t stand the thought of me spending time with a woman, even if it’s just a friend,” she wrote.

“He wants all of my time and doesn’t want to share me, even with mutual friends.”

The woman has tried everything to get her friend to stop obsessing about her to no avail. She even invited him to move in with her in her college town so they could both have more dating opportunities.

If you allow this to continue, he will destroy every opportunity that comes your way because it will be a threat to his fantasy.

They planned to be housemates in the new city and she believed he was starting to resolve his feelings about her. But now, they are both living with one of her relatives while they look for a house together, and things have started to fall apart.

“Since moving in together, his feelings for me have resurged,” she wrote. “We are trapped in the same space, and he has nowhere else to go.”

“I no longer want to be roommates because of his possessiveness. But it would devastate him if I left him alone here, especially since it was my idea to go, and I was meant to be his support system.

The advice columnist told her she needs to end the friendship.

“I feel like I am trapped in his drama and cannot live my life without ruining his. Please help!”

The advice columnist had the best possible advice, telling the woman, quite simply, to not rent a house with the man.

“You cannot fulfil his needs,” she wrote in response.

“If you allow this to continue, he will destroy every opportunity that comes your way because it will be a threat to his fantasy.”

She ended her response by telling the lesbian to ask her friend to leave the house immediately.

“This is not going to have a fairy-tale ending, and you probably will not remain friends as you move along with your life,” she added.

More: advice columnist, lesbian, male friend, mercury news

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