Queer solidarity reaches outer space as Mars, the fourth planet from the Sun, screams ‘lesbian rights!’
Lesbian aliens have been confirmed by Twitter scientists this week after heart-shaped craters were found on the surface of Mars.
Clearly, the craters were lasered by a lesbian alien to express her cosmic love for her inter-galactic girlfriend. Duh.
The fourth planet from the sun’s decision to come out as a lesbian ally follows Jupiter, a true trailblazer, standing strong as a trans ally last year. The gas giant glowed in the pastel trans Pride flag colours.
If only Earth – where a dozen countries prescribe the death sentence to homosexuality – could come out in favour of LGBT+ rights. If only.
Uh, wait, what is happening on Mars?
Every Valentine’s Day, Malin Space Science Systems, operated by NASA, scope the empty abyss of space to find heart-shaped craters to make even the loneliest astronomy enthusiast feel loved.
That, or they can just buy single folk some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, to be honest.
Photographs of the heart-shaped craters went viral on Twitter the day after Valentine’s Day.
All were snapped by the Mars Global Surveyor’s Mars Orbiter Camera across three years and posted in 2004, according to NBC San Diego.
One user, called Anjel, commented: “I just know a lesbian alien did this for her girlfriend.
i just know a lesbian alien did this for her gf .. hope they stay together https://t.co/DGgq21vzmi
— ang3l (@eatmeanj) February 16, 2020
“Hope they stay together.”
Anjel’s tweet took off, tallying more than 41,000 retweets and 240,000 likes in less than two days, and everyone was officially emotionally invested in this interstellar lesbian love story.
Another user supplied a joke that they were essentially legally obligated to do.
— Маркус Джилс (@marcusjiles) February 16, 2020
While others expanded on the tweet, casting some colourful characters into this love story and if Netflix doesn’t pick it up for a original movie may they be sent to the Shadow Realm.
— Applin Lover Arius (@Mewlyz) February 17, 2020
Although, one user questioned whether an alien would draw a heart, a traditionally human sign that expresses love.
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Interesting perspective. I'll bite.
— Sheauwn (@Unknown__Cipher) February 17, 2020
While the symbol is not anatomically accurate for humans, maybe love really is the fifth element and transcends humanity and is embraced across the universe?
Nevertheless, we, on behalf of the entire queer alien community, hope that the pair are kissing in the centre of the heart crater right now.