Straight woman cuts contact with her sister because she kept her own baby’s gender a secret. Yes, really
A woman said her sister’s pregnancy was a “hellish nightmare for everyone” because she did not want to reveal her baby’s gender.
Wanting to know if she was being unreasonable, the woman posted the story on the subreddit ‘Am I the A**hole’, a community on the social media platform Reddit which describes itself as: “A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you.”
The woman, Carli, said in the post she is 21-years-old and her sister Rachel is 28. When Rachel got pregnant, she and her husband announced that they would be waiting to find out the gender of the baby until the birth.
Carli insisted that this decision “really didn’t suit any of my family and especially not me as I would like to buy little bits and pieces for [the] baby”.
From this point on, according to Carli, the entire pregnancy was a “hellish nightmare for everyone”.
She decided that her sister would probably have the scan anyway, and proceeded to text her sister every day to ask if she knew the baby’s gender yet.
After 17 weeks (119 days) of pregnancy, and presumably after almost losing her mind, Rachel texted her sister back to say she had found out the baby was a girl, but that she only wanted gender-neutral gifts.
Carli described her predictable response to the reasonable request: “She was extremely adamant about the gender neutral gifts so I did 80 per cent neutral and just got a few pink dresses and frilly pink sleep suits as they were gorgeous.”
At 36 weeks pregnant, Rachel apparently “dropped bomb number two”. She had to have a caesarian because the baby was breech, and wanted only her husband present during the operation.
Carli continued: “I asked her if she was joking and she said ‘no’, so I wasn’t even allowed to attend the birth of my future niece.
“She tried to talk me round via text saying she was terrified and that she wanted peace and quiet for her c-section, and said although I don’t mean to, I talk a lot in exciting situations.
“I found that incredibly insulting but dropped the issue as she wouldn’t budge.”
Carli’s anguish was not over, however, as Rachel’s husband dropped the “ultimate bombshell” two days later. The baby was a boy, they had never had the scan to find out the baby’s sex and Rachel had lied to get Carli off her back.
Subjected to bombshell after bombshell, Carli had no choice but refuse to see her sister’s baby.
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She said: “I am distraught my niece never existed, I demanded that she give the gifts back as they are for a baby girl but she said ‘no’ and sent me a pic of the baby in a pink frilly sleep suit!
“Rachel said she doesn’t care if he wears girl’s clothes because it doesn’t matter… She lied to me for months and texts me all the time telling me to come meet my nephew, my whole family have told me to let it go, but I can’t. Am I the a**hole?”
Reddit users resoundingly said that yes, Carli is definitely the a**hole.
One wrote: “The level of entitlement is astounding. At least the new mother seems badass!”
“Honey, this entire post is all you, you, you,” said another. “You dismissed your sister’s desires over and over and over again, and somehow you are surprised that she got sick of your selfish boundary stomping and just tried to shut you up?”
One commenter wrote what we were all thinking: “OP sounds like one of those people who will accidentally set fire to a park doing a gender reveal.”