Dolly Parton’s Jolene is actually a queer love story and this in-depth analysis proves it
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Can 'Jolene' be considered the next queer women anthem? This Twitter user thinks so and it's glorious. (Jim Davis/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
A Twitter thread about someone’s first listen of “Jolene” by Dolly Parton and the queer subtext of it is deserving of a Pulitzer prize.
Well, the internet thinks so, at least.
In the viral Twitter thread, genderqueer user Alexis Hall takes his followers on a 36 tweet-long thread about his take on ”Jolene” which, he argues, “is literally, the gayest f***ing thing” he’s ever heard.
So, uh, Twitter – can we talk about Jolene?
A song I’ve never really listened to past the first few “Jolene Jolene”s but just came on the radio.
& … like …
My God
It is literally the gayest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
The thread is a tangled web of logic, intertwined with Glee gifs and the phrase ‘bone down’.
First off, there’s the fact the song is called Jolene & about Jolene & you do not sing somebody’s name that many times in a row unless you seriously, seriously want to bone down on them.
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
While the dude the singer CLAIMS to be worried about is wildly absent for the entire song.
& the best motivation offered for Jolene wanting this fellow at all is “because [she] can”.
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
Like some kinda Y-chromosomed Everest.
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
Hall analyses each lyric in dizzying detail, developing beautiful backstories for the characters, such as ‘Generic man, let’s call him Bernard’.
& besides what evidence do we have that Generic Man—let’s call him Bernard—is into Jolene in the first place?
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
It’s definitely not a sign of illicit burning passion.
Assuming Bernard is even capable of that.
Because burning passion, illicit or otherwise, seems a bit of a reach for a dude who doesn’t even get a verse. pic.twitter.com/SeyGLBYZQY
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
& I gotta tell you, children, that is not what true love looks like.
That, right there, is queer panic.
That is “Okay, Bernard is the closest I can get to heterosexuality so I need to see it through.”
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
Y’know, that conversation when you’re like, “So, eh, Jolene’s pretty fine…”
& they’re like “Is she? I hadn’t noticed.”
& you’re like “Incredibly fine. Have you seen those flaming locks of auburn hair?”
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
Y’know, that conversation when you’re like, “So, eh, Jolene’s pretty fine…”
& they’re like “Is she? I hadn’t noticed.”
& you’re like “Incredibly fine. Have you seen those flaming locks of auburn hair?”
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
Hall’s dense slab of analysis for “Jolene” of Don DeLillo-proportions doesn’t end at a microscopic look at Dolly Parton herself. No.
In a similar way to how some fans feel about RuPaul launching spin-off after spin-off of Drag Race, the thread went on, and on, and on.
But Twitter users were here for every single word.
Especially when you read between the lines of the conversation.
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
Singer: I mean, because of my relationship with Bernard.
Jolene: Pardon?
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
& I kind of assume what happens after the end of the song is, the singer puts down her guitar & Jolene is like “wait, you think I’m into Bernard? Why the fuck would I be into Bernard?”
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
& the singer looks up, all shy & hopeful & confused:“Really?”
& Jolene is like “Totally. 100%. Have you seen my hair? Straight people just do not have hair as good as this. It’s a whole thing.”
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
& the singer is like “But Bernard talks about you in his sleep”
& Jolene is like “He’s probably just having one of those weird dreams where I’m turning into a badger or something.”
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
& Jolene, who is too good-hearted a human being to say ‘why would ANYONE want Bernard babe’ just gives her this long, smouldering stare with those eyes of emerald green
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
& the singer does that anxious-eager-yearning little face tilt thing you do when you really really want someone to kiss you right the hell now
— Alexis Hall (@quicunquevult) January 15, 2020
“And Jolene does,” Hall writes.
“Because they are all completely f***ing gay.
“The end.”
Considering that Hall’s analysis was longer than the Mueller report and the wait for Lady Gaga’s new album combined, it, of course. prompted some clashing reactions from the LGBT+ community.
Read this thread. All of it. From someone with too much time on her hands, who put it to very good use. https://t.co/E4J31zD4Qi
— Rob Clancy (@nutsodeluxe) January 17, 2020
Will never listen to "Jolene" the same way again–and I'm HAPPY about it. https://t.co/VtiKkX4jwE
— Renée McTavish (@reneemctavish75) January 16, 2020
Queermotional rollercoaster, right here ?? https://t.co/QGQHgnPqfy
— ?️?Harpy New Year?️? (@matingplumage) January 17, 2020
i cannot believe someone on this website has listened to 'jolene', an incredibly famous & well-known song, for the first time & done a 40-tweet "sit the fuck down motherfuckers let's fucking talk about jolene" thread which includes the phrase "bone down" & a gif of david tennant pic.twitter.com/89SzyHRmyz
— MARTH (@martha_again) January 16, 2020
Truly excellent lyrical analysis right here. https://t.co/ISuJqBRj5X
— Patrick Coskren (@pcoskren) January 17, 2020
Hall’s hot take on the memorable tune came after Parton herself gave ‘Jolene’ a drag makeover for a queer crowd.
More: Dolly Parton, Jolene
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