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Dating

This bizarre story about a straight man and a cauliflower will make you feel better about your romantic life

Vic Parsons January 15, 2020
Straight man

Fresh organic cauliflower, pre-halving. (Envato/Stock image)

Dating can be hard, and no one has it harder than those whose dates include the straight man.

A perfect example of this surfaced on the internet this week, when a writer and editor at Funny Or Die called Sloane Hughes posted about having a straight man over for dinner a few years ago.

Sloane – who is non-binary and uses she and he pronouns – said: “Being into straight men is surreal.”

She went on to describe a time a few years ago, when she had invited a guy round for a meal.

“One time a few years ago I had a guy over for dinner and he asked to help cook,” Sloane said. “So I told him to halve the cauliflower and when I looked over he was literally trying to rip it apart. With his bare hands. Most insane thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

The tweet, which has been liked more than 125,000 times since it was posted on January 14, struck a chord, with hundreds of others relating to the trials of dating cishet men.


“Why did god make me pansexual and not a lesbian I ask myself this question every day,” one person wrote.

Another added: “I dated a guy in college who was absolutely unable to figure out the mystery of box mix cake.

“He also made a sandwich at my place once that was pizza between 4 slices of toast. I think my soul actually fell out of my body I was so confused.”


While a few men tried to defend themselves/men in the thread – including some, bizarrely, telling unrelated stories about their ex-girlfriends – one man stated the obvious.

“You don’t have to ever date cishet guys,” he said. “There are plenty of other men out there.”

Amen to that.

More: are the straights ok, heterosexuality, straight men

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