Men are here to ruin 2020 before it even started by using toothpaste as lube during masturbation and sex
There is a man who exists in the same universe as us who’s used toothpaste as lube and, honestly, we’re booking flights to the Andromeda Galaxy.
One reddit user posted, in detail, about burning sensations spreading across his penis after applying it to masturbate. Days later, it was covered in scabs and was raw.
But he wasn’t alone, as another user tried to re-create “tingly” mint-flavoured condoms by masturbating with toothpaste in the shower.
It, of course, did not end well, and what some outlets have dubbed it a “trend” that has prompted several medical professionals to, and this might be the most 2020 sentence you have ever read, clarify that you should not use toothpaste as lube.
It is for your mouth, not your genitals, people of the world.
So, what happened when men used toothpaste as a lubricant?
This apparent revelation leaves a similar sour taste in the mouth as this week’s news that a man doesn’t wash his genitals because doing so would be “gay”. But at least this story has a minty aftertaste.
Doctors and sexual health experts issued warnings not to replicate this, as a reddit user wrote: “I accidentally used toothpaste as lube.
“It’s the morning now and it’s still really inflamed. There is less pain but I’m on painkillers so there is some help.
“But please, for the love of god, in whatever universe you’re thinking to do this, DO NOT USE TOOTHPASTE AS LUBE.”
How did this happen, I hear you ask?
“I had a late shower before hopping into bed and decided to brush my teeth in the shower being the hygienic teen I am,” he explained.
“What I do not realise is some of the foamy toothpaste stuff you get halfway through brushing your teeth has landed on my dong.”
Similarly, another user’s toothpaste peril involved a “creeping sensation of pain, like friction burn,” but as the user experienced this, he decided to dab even more toothpaste.
He had a “dull pain” for the rest of the day, but woke up to “scabbing” and “discolouration”.
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“I had a look and all the skin was red and raw,” he said.
In other words, it seems toothpaste as lube was simply not mint to be.
Why is toothpaste provoking such reactions?
It’s mainly down to the ingredients, experts and educators warn.
Common ingredients in toothpaste include calcium carbonate – an abrasive used for grinding and polishing – the detergent sodium lauryl sulfate, peppermint, and whitening agent.
All of which prove provocative to the soft, sensitive skin of the penis, James O’Loan, a pharmacist at Doctor-4-U, told Metro.co.uk.
“The peppermint oils and other chemicals in toothpaste, including bleaching agents, can be extremely irritating to sensitive skin,” Loan said.
“By putting it on your genitals you actually risk a mild burn, as well as blisters and scarring.”