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A gay guy sat next to his hookup’s wife and children at midnight mass and people are calling it the new nativity

Emma Powys Maurice December 26, 2019
Church

A Twitter user's Christmas took an interesting turn when he bumped into an old flame at church (Rawpixel/Envato Elements)

A gay guy found himself in the uncomfortable position of sitting next to his summer hookup while at midnight mass – but the awkwardness didn’t end there.

Twitter user @dxnielandrew took his followers on a wild (and cringey) ride as he posted to social media after attending the Christmas Eve service with his mother.

He recognised the man sitting alongside him and realised he’d been on seven dates with him before… but he had no knowledge of the man’s wife and children at the time.

“He told me he couldn’t be with me because his job was too hectic. Never realised his job was stay at home dad,” Dan wrote.

After the service ended Dan went to the pub with his family, only to find that the unthinkable had happened – his ex had followed him there.

Clearly undeterred by the fact that his wife and children were with him at the time, the married man somehow saw this as an opportunity to rekindle the past romance. Dan rebuffed him, but the man was pushing for a festive fling.

It should have ended there, but of course it didn’t because it’s Christmas and this Twitter thread just keeps on giving.

Christmas morning came and Dan tweeted an update: “Oh you thought this was over? I’ve just been downstairs all MERRY CHRISTMAS FAMILY WOOO and my mum is glaring at me because when I was a [blogger] she turned tweet notifications on and now she wants to know whose home I unintentionally wrecked.”

Then his ex got back in touch with yet more festive-themed flirting…

“Please come to my funeral, please come and have a celebration in my honour because I don’t think I’m going to survive Christmas,” Dan tweeted. But it was only a matter of time before his ex realised that he’d been sharing the whole exchange online.

“[My wife] follows you on Twitter how can you do this to me delete those tweets NOW!!” he wrote, belatedly feeling guilty at cheating on his wife. When Dan refused to respond, the man enlisted hashtags to help his cause.

“Just reply to me, please, seeing you last night made me realise how much I love you,” he continued. “I will leave it all behind and start again with you please.”

Dan was unmoved by his pleas and instead issued his followers a challenge: “If we get #hellopleasereply trending I’ll go to the neighbours’ Christmas party tonight with my mum and dad where I know he’ll be and out him in an Eastenders style showdown.”

Incredibly, Twitter followed through and by the end of the night #hellopleasereply was trending in the UK right behind Gavin and Stacey.

True to his word, Dan attended his neighbours’ party, although he was of course too kind to out the man on Christmas Day. “I’m not gonna put that on someone else,” he said.

He received a dick pic for his troubles (because of course), and more requests to hook up – the whole wife-and-children thing clearly not weighing on the man’s mind much here.

It should come as no surprise that the ex wasn’t great at dealing with the rejection (“Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame you fat ugly pr*ck”), nor that he was crawling back into Dan’s DMs later that evening.

Dan concluded the day with a glass of gin in the bathtub, feeling a strange sense of gratitude to the man who unexpectedly brought Twitter together at Christmas.

“People are calling this the new nativity,” he joked.

More: Christmas, family, in the closet, trending

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