Trans woman left in tears after friends told her to ‘come without the dress and wig’ to a queer bar
A trans woman was left in tears after friends told her she was welcome to come hang with them at a work party, just as long as she came “without the dress and wig”.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Connor Wilson’s friend wrote to her, “we aren’t going to the [gay] village, it’s a very straight environment.”
But Wilson later found out that the “straight environment” they were heading to was Napoleons, a queer club in Manchester, England.
Taking to Facebook, Wilson urged friends and followers to “call people out on their bull**** views” in a now viral post.
Speaking to PinkNews, Wilson explained that the transphobic message may have been “pretty minor”, but considering she has only recently come out as trans, “it really made me question if I was ready to face this.”
‘I was just in total shock and upset that people who I thought I was so close to would ask this of me!’
“When I first received the message, I was sat at a table across from my mum,” Wilson said, “she asked me straight away if I was okay because she noticed my mood had completely dropped.
“I was just in total shock and upset that people who I thought I was so close to would ask this of me!
“I’m a trans woman and have only recently built up the courage to come out and it really made me question if I was ready to face this.”
Wilson, who is studying mental health nursing at the University of Manchester, was shaken after being told my friends not to come dressed in the attire they feel most comfortable with.
The friend lamented in a direct message: “We are all out for a good time, not to feel all eyes are on us or feeling nervous case it kicks off.”
Bussing her way to a job interview, the 22-year-old said she struggled to “hold back the tears” before it became too much and she had to act: “That’s when I decided to write the post!
“I wanted everyone to know that this behaviour is not acceptable.”
The post tallied hundreds of shares and comments as people poured over Wilson’s situation and rallied to support her.
“Hate that you have been made to feel like this,” said Jack.
While Sophie suggested: “Must be scared n case you show them up.
“Looking fine while they look like sloths.”
“Disgusting,” wrote Emily, “exactly why we still need to fight for what we are.”
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“Shortly after posting it, I put my phone in my pocket as I had to go into the interview and it was at the back of my mind,” Wilson added.
“Within about five minutes, I felt my phone constantly vibrating in my pocket! When I finally checked it I was overwhelmed with emotion.”
Wilson chose not to attend the work do in the end, and replied to their friend that she was “shocked” that an issue had been made out of her existence.
“I would of felt uncomfortable knowing that these people aren’t real friends and they obviously don’t really care about my wellbeing,” she continued.
“They weren’t just work friends – when I left the business we stayed in touch and still met up – I thought they were people I could count on.”
Recounting the tale a few weeks on, Wilson said that such casual transphobia should “not be taken lightly.
“It’s okay to not understand it, but it’s not okay to take action against it or deny anyone of their truth!”