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Dating

Non-monogamous people debunk myths about polyamory, and no, sex isn’t always an orgy

Lily Wakefield December 18, 2019
polyamory

Cheating is still possible in polyamorous relationships. (Envato)

There is a lot of stigma around polyamory – dating or having relationships with more than one person – but two polyamorous people have spoken out to dispel some myths.

Hailey Gill and Shay Thomas are both non-monogamous, and they told Business Insider that there are lots of misconceptions about having more than one partner.

For Gill, a social service assistant for the National Guard of Oklahoma, said that although polyamory is often seen as completely sexual, for her it is about connecting with multiple people in a romantic way.

She added: “I am more inclined to look for romantic partners than I am to look for sexual partners. [Polyamory] is a way to bond and share your love with more than one person and to show everyone a caring partner.”

Although people who are not monogamous are often told they are “slutty”, Gill said she is reclaiming that label. She said: “I believe it is slutty, but not in a derogatory way. It allows me the ability to share my heart with many partners, and people I care for.”

She added that cheating is still possible within her relationship structures, and said: “Cheating is frowned upon in my relationships structure much like a monogamous relationship.

“We don’t mind fooling around and loving others outside of the relationship as long as communication is maintained and due notice is given that we have an interest in someone new.”

Shay Thomas, who has been polyamorous since high school, wanted to bust the myth that non-monogamy means loving a partner less.

They said: “Polyamory doesn’t mean that you love a partner less than someone in a monogamous relationship would. It just means that you have love for other people as well.”

Thomas added: “We are raised to think that one person can be every and all things for you and that you need to be everything for one person.

“Being poly means that if my partner doesn’t want to go do something, I can go with someone else. Or that if my partner is busy and I need support, someone else might be free. It lets me fulfil lots of different needs and wants.”

YouTuber Ari Fitz, who has been polyamorous for two years, previously told PinkNews that she enjoys developing feelings for multiple people at the same time, and said monogamy was too restrictive for her.

She added: “I date the way I do because it makes me happy, it makes me feel good.”

More: dating, misconceptions, myths, non-monogamy, polyamorous relationship, polyamory, relationship structures

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