Man epically calls out dad’s homophobia after saying he must be a ‘terrible parent’ for having two gay sons
The man responded to his father’s homophobic comments about him and his gay brother. (Envato)
A gay man defended his brother and called out his father’s homophobic comments after he said he felt like a “terrible parent” because he had two gay sons.
Reid Chandler posted screenshots on Twitter of a text he sent to his father, but was not prepared for it to go viral with now almost 30,000 likes.
Chandler and his brother visited their parents for Thanksgiving. While Chandler came out as gay eight years ago, his brother came out during the visit.
When their father drove them to the airport to go home, he told them: “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it makes me and your mom feel like we’ve done something terribly wrong as parents.”
Chandler decided, after ruminating on the comment for a week, that he needed to confront his dad.
Captioning the screenshots, he wrote: “I love my parents and I won’t tolerate mean comments… but understand we are from a really southern, conservative background and me coming out was tough.
“My brother coming out last week was tougher. It took me that long to process but my dad needed to hear this.”
Addressing his father’s homophobic comments and telling him to not take his comment “the wrong way”, Chandler wrote: “How do I not take that the wrong way?
“Essentially you are saying that me being gay is a result of terrible parenting,” he continued. “That this is a pestilence we were cursed with. That I am a curse.
“The belief system you and mom were raised on are not mine or Layton’s responsibility to tiptoe around or be sensitive to.
“Whatever you were taught about gay people – it is wrong. Point blank, period. End of story.
He added: “Imagine a parent telling their straight son he is a mistake. How wrong does that sound? That’s how you sounded to me in the car.”
So I love my parents and I won’t tolerate mean comments… but understand we are from a really southern, conservative background and me coming out was tough. My brother coming out last week was tougher. It took me that long to process but my dad needed to hear this. pic.twitter.com/AFn5rtsWdj
— reid (@thereidfeed) December 6, 2019
Chandler told his dad that he thought his father had been “amazing, all things considered” and had made “progress” since he came out eight years ago.
But now that his brother had come out, the homophobic comments made it feel like their father had forgotten “everything [he] learned about love and compassion”.
He finished the message by writing: “Just because I love men doesn’t make me less of a man. And just because you don’t accept that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”
Many of those responding shared personal stories about similar confrontations, and one said: “You sharing this helps other queer kids relate… You did the right thing!”
“That made me cry. These conversations are what will change the world,” said another.
A lot of you are asking if I received a response. I did. Sharing more of our conversation feels a step too invasive, but he was kind and loving, and I really appreciate that. Our family is very close and I know I’m privileged in that regard.— reid (@thereidfeed) December 6, 2019
Chandler later updated the thread to say that he “did not anticipate this receiving the attention it has”, and was not even sure why he posted it.
Although he said it felt “invasive” to have so many people see the message, he decide to leave it up after seeing the “warm and moving” responses, and “especially seeing how many of you can relate to this or found my words helpful”.
He added: “A lot of you are asking if I received a response. I did. Sharing more of our conversation feels a step too invasive, but he was kind and loving, and I really appreciate that.
“Our family is very close and I know I’m privileged in that regard.”
