Woman refuses to invite her brother’s boyfriend to her wedding, asks him to pretend to be straight
A gay man’s sister refused to invite his partner of five years to her wedding because her soon-to-be husband comes from a religious family, and the internet has thoughts.
The man posted on the subreddit “Am I the A**hole”, a community on the social media platform Reddit which describes itself as: “A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you.”
In the post, which has since been removed, he wanted to know if he would be “the a**hole” for cutting ties with his sister after her awful behaviour.
He wrote: “I’m one of six siblings. My oldest sister is getting married in the summer and has been making plans for a while now, including the guest list.
“I found out this week that all of the other siblings – including the ones who don’t have partners – have been given a plus one. Apart from me.
“This was especially confusing as I’ve been with my partner for five years, which is longer than any of the other siblings have been with theirs, and she knows him better than she knows anybody else’s partners and has stated before she considers him a friend.”
He said he assumed there had been a mistake, but it turned out to be intentional.
His future brother-in-law comes from a “very religious” (and homophobic) family, and his sister was concerned that they would be upset and “cause a scene”.
Already insisting he come alone, she added that she wanted him to pretend to be straight if anyone asked if he had a partner.
He continued: “I was pretty hurt by this. To me, this is her saying that appeasing bigots is more important to her than her own brother and her own friend.
“I said as much and she told me that actually, in the long run, they do matter more.”
The man told his sister that he would not attend the wedding because he did not want “to be around gross homophobes in any capacity”.
“She’s accusing me of pot stirring and causing unnecessary drama and saying she’ll be really really angry if I don’t go,” he said.
“I’m just kind of disgusted by all of this and I’m genuinely considering cutting contact with her. [Would I be the a**hole] if I did?”
Unsurprisingly, not a single one of the 385 commenters believed the gay man to be “the a**hole”.
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One wrote: “She went above and beyond to make you feel like sh*t: not inviting your partner *and* telling you to ‘act straight’.
“Condoning that kind of hatred is the same as feeling it. You have every right to cut her out and not look back.”
Many others called for the man’s other four siblings to “boycott the wedding in solidarity”, and pointed out that if he was excluded from the wedding, he was likely to be excluded from other future events.
Lots of commenters encouraged the original poster to retaliate to the unabashed hate by being “the gayest gay you can be” and causing “mayhem” at the wedding.
“Turn up dressed camper than Christmas at Butlin’s and cause absolute mayhem,” wrote one.
Another said: “Crash the wedding with your partner dressed as Elton John in pride flag capes and be the gayest gay you can be. Fuck those a**holes.”