Gender non-conforming woman refused a haircut at a men’s barbers because she’s female

A woman was refused a haircut at a barbers on the basis that she’s female, and her complaint about this treatment has gone viral.

Posting on Reddit, the woman, who is in her twenties, says that her usual barber moved away so she has been looking for a new place to get her haircut.

Emphasising that her hair is very short – “it is straight up a men’s cut” – the woman explains that she goes to the barbers because it’s cheaper, and because they never pressure her to get a “more feminine pixie cut”.

After her usual barber moved, she found a new place that looked good at the recommendation of a male friend, walked in and requested a haircut.

“The barber looked at me strangely,” she posted. “He said they don’t do women’s haircuts.”

After she clarified that she wanted a “men’s barber haircut” the barber still refused, telling her to go to a hair salon instead. This left her feeling “embarrassed and shocked”, she said, so she posted on her city’s LGBT+ Facebook page and made a post that said: “gender non-conforming women, don’t bother with this barber. He doesn’t serve us.”

When the post when viral, she began having doubts about whether posting on the LGBT+ Facebook page had been the right thing to do. And then, one of her friends got in touch to say that it was too much and that she “could seriously hurt a small business”.

So, she posted on Reddit and asked: Am I the asshole?

Several responders pointed out that the woman’s post wasn’t what might hurt the small business, but the barber turning away a paying customer.

“He hurt his business by refusing a service he’s fully capable of doing… He does men’s cuts all the time on men. She wanted a men’s cut. He’s only hurting himself by refusing. Sorry, OPs friend is wrong to blame her for this,” one Reddit user replied.

Another said: “You went to a forum of similarly minded individuals to save them a bad experience. You didn’t go out of your way to smear [the barbers]…. You also can’t have hurt their business if he wouldn’t have done business with members of that group anyway.”

And other users pointed out that not only had the barber lost her business by turning her away, he’d also potentially lost the opportunity to grow his business.

“I have a friend who’s a hairdresser,” someone wrote.

“A few years back, a butch lady came in and asked for what is clearly a men’s cut, so he charged her for a men’s cut.

“She was so used to being charged for a woman’s cut despite clearly getting men’s cuts, that she told all her butch friends.

“His business blew up because of it, and he went from having a handful of loyal customers to having basically the whole butch community of our city going to him.”

The conclusion? This woman was not an asshole for posting about her bad experience.