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Dad claims he ‘loves his son dearly’ but refuses to accept his sexuality in heartbreaking letter

Patrick Kelleher November 21, 2019
Dad claims he 'loves his son dearly' but refuses to accept his sexuality in heartbreaking letter

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A dad has written a heartbreaking letter to a New Zealand advice columnist saying he is unable to accept his 16-year-old son’s sexuality.

In the letter, published by stuff.co.nz, the man wrote that his son came out as gay three months ago.

The boy explained to his father that he knew he was different from other boys from the age of seven.

“While, at first, I was kind of OK with it and trying to be an open-minded, accepting dad for him, in the last month it really has been playing on my mind and I feel angry, upset and disappointed with him,” the dad wrote.

The dad is now finding excuses to spend less time with his son because he can’t accept his ‘lifestyle.’

“I’m finding excuses not to spend as much time with him as usual and, while I love my son dearly, I don’t think I can accept it, or his lifestyle.”

His issues seem to be compounded by the fact that the boy came out to his mother a year before.

He also lamented the fact that he cannot talk to his “guy friends” about the situation as they are “manly, blokey types” who “wouldn’t take kindly to this news.”

Real strength comes from inside a person and I see real strength in a boy of just 16 who’s prepared to face his father and state his homosexuality – knowing your possible reaction.

Columnist Mary-Anne Scott encouraged the dad to open up to his wife about how he is feeling.

“You cannot change this situation and it’s not something your son has done to deliberately hurt or upset you,” she added.

She also said that his son has shown “guts and maturity” to come out as gay. “You would be wise to respond to him with complete love, support and loyalty.”

The advice columnist told the man to keep on loving his son unconditionally.

Furthermore, she suggested that the man’s friends will likely surprise him and may be completely fine with his son’s news.

“You describe them as manly, blokey types and there’s an implication of strength in your description. But strength isn’t an on-display thing. Real strength comes from inside a person and I see real strength in a boy of just 16 who’s prepared to face his father and state his homosexuality – knowing your possible reaction.”

The columnist ended her letter by saying that it is important he doesn’t make a choice that separates him from his son.

“You would’ve held this boy as a baby and promised to love and protect him no matter what. This is no matter what. Believe in your future together.”

More: coming out, father and son, Gay, LGBT

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