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This dad who doesn’t agree with same-sex marriage is baffled his gay son won’t talk to him

Josh Milton November 20, 2019
A father is struggling to reconnect with his gay son after telling him he's against marriage equality. (Stock photo via Elements Envato)

A father is struggling to reconnect with his gay son after telling him he's against marriage equality. (Stock photo via Elements Envato)

There’s nothing quite like the bond between a father and son, but one dad is stumped on how to mend his relationship with his 38-year-old child.

His son is gay and he himself opposes same-sex marriage.

We’re not sure, but that could be the problem here.

In an agony aunt column in Staten Island paper SILive.com, a befuddled father asks writer Annie Lane for advice on how to reconnect with his son.

Father outright told gay son that marriage equality is a ‘big no-no’ and wanted his marriage to fail. 

The dad, 68, explained: “It seems impossible for me to mend my relationship with my son.

“Back when he was 22, he came out of the closet and told us he was gay.

The man, labelled as ‘Frustrated Dad’, described how it took two years for him to accept his son as gay.

During so, the pair barely spoke.

“Finally,” he continued, “I accepted it with a few years of counselling.”

The duo got along for “a while” but after Ohio lawmakers passed marriage equality in the state, in 2015 it yawned a divide between them once again.

A father, who opposes gay marriage, is struggling to build a bridge between him and his queer son. (Stock photo via Elements Envato)
A father, who opposes gay marriage, is struggling to build a bridge between him and his queer son. (Stock photo via Elements Envato)

Marriage equality is a “big no-no” to the man, “because men don’t marry men”.

The dad continued: “I let him know, big time, that I was against it. But he found someone to officiate the marriage and marry him and his partner.

“He even got the marriage license. But he didn’t get married through a traditional church.”

In a paternal move, he told his son he would “never accept” the marriage before adding: “I hoped his marriage fails.

“Of course, he didn’t like that at all.

“Even after my counselling and apologising, and being sorry for my beliefs, still I cannot change how I feel; nor will he change his beliefs.”

The frustrated father is desperate to rebuild the relationship between them – especially as the son still speaks to his mother and brother.

“For two years, he and his husband have wanted nothing to do with me at all!”

‘He is your son, and life is short.’

While it seems completely impossible to identify the problem here, Annie shared her wisdom.

“If you want to be part of your son’s life, then you’re going to have to accept that he’s gay,” she replied.

“You seem to recognise this fact, and I take it you’re still trying to work past your feelings in counselling.

“I urge you to keep going to counselling and to keep digging within your heart for a way to get past this.

“He is your son, and life is short.

“It would be heartbreaking if you two went the rest of yours without ever speaking again.”

More: agony aunt, marriage equality, same sex marriage, staten island

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