Trans and non-binary people reveal what they want to say to cis people
“What do u want to say to cis people?” begins a Twitter thread encouraging trans and non-binary people to vent their frustrations and offer advice on how cis people can be better allies.
The thread, which has been liked more than 3,500 times, has hundreds of responses from trans and non-binary people sharing their thoughts.
Along with the more common demands of things cis allies should be doing – like stating their pronouns in email signatures and on meeting new people – the replies also show how often trans and non-binary people aren’t listened to and how frustrating that is.
Something a little different today.
Trans & Non-Binary folks.
What do u want to say to cis people?
It can be venting your frustrations, some advice on how to help u all, helpful hints on how to support u better etc… anything u like.
I’ll block any transphobes, so have it.
— Izzy “Jingle Boobs” Rizinti 🏳️🌈 (@BellaRizinti) November 16, 2019
“It’s exhausting to have to rely on allies because cis people won’t take it seriously or believe what’s being said if it comes from a trans person,” said one Twitter user. “To be told that we’re ‘too close to the ‘issue’ to be able to rationally talk about the difficulties we face is beyond patronising.”
The user added in a second tweet: “It basically means any relationship between trans and cis people can never be truly level or reciprocal. Because as it stands, cis people always hold all the keys.”
Many people asked cis allies to be supportive when it comes to trans and non-binary people being misgendered.
If you notice someone misgendering me, please pull them up on it if safe to do so even if I haven’t. I don’t always have the energy to correct people, maybe I missed it or maybe I’ve tried & they aren’t listening to me. Also some will take your silence as implied agreement.
— Zeenie McQueen (@ZeenieZuccini) November 16, 2019
“Often times it is 100 times safer for a cis ally to do the correcting than a trans person, even in online spaces,” one person said.
Powerful people have a vested interest in telling our narrative for us in a way that will make you hate us.
— Katelyn Burns (@transscribe) November 16, 2019
For many, US journalist Katelyn Burns nailed it when she simply replied: “Powerful people have a vested interest in telling our narrative for us in a way that will make you hate us.”
Her comments points to the fact that the level of institutional transphobia in almost all spheres of life is likely to be incomprehensible to a cisgender person, but it will still affect the way they see trans people.
A frustration with cis gatekeeping of trans healthcare also came through in the replies.
Understand that it’s not your place to make major decisions for us.
Laws and procedures about trans people can’t be written by a cis person. (medically maybe but still)
Also cisfolk shouldn’t try to argue with transfolk about personal matters. They can’t sympathize
— Alex Anhelm (@Timespike64) November 16, 2019
To cis ppl:
1) Trans ppl in trans roles, and LISTEN to them about their depictions and experiences
2) Please realize we are so jaded about cis ppl because so many talk about/over us not to us and make our lives so much harder, intentionally and not.
— Ulfra Wolfe (@vedia_lupae) November 16, 2019
I just wish more cis people actually listened to us and treated our input as worthwhile. It’s frustrating being excluded from conversations about what to do with us, from the creative process of art about us, from the decision process in laws that affect us. Let us participate.
— UwU 🚑 uwu 🚑 UwU 🚑 uwu (@HanafubukuOh) November 16, 2019
Cis people also popped up on the thread to offer support.
I just want to say thanks for this thread. I want to be a support and ally to the best of my ability. I try but sure ain’t perfect, and always want to learn to do better. Love to everyone on this thread ❤️
— Sarah O Donoghue (@SorchaNiD) November 16, 2019
And plenty of trans and non-binary people thanked the original poster, a cis lesbian, too.
I just wanted to thank you for saying “Trans *&* Non-Binary folks” because it helps me feel seen as someone who is Agender but doesn’t consider themselves trans.
— 🎃freelancefae🎃 (@freelancefae) November 16, 2019