That bizarre gay Robert Dyas advert is back and we can officially confirm Christmas season has begun
Four years ago, how the world celebrated Christmas changed one fateful day when Robert Dyas aired its holiday advert to UK audiences.
The hardware seller had an idea. A groundbreaking concept, a fresh approach to advertising that not even Don Draper would have thought of; one that would resonate with viewers for years to come.
In the tinsel-lined store, staff and customers share their hobbies, their sexuality and how they love nothing more than to shop and work at the retail store.
Now, Mariah Carey might be the Queen of Christmas in the US, but for those across the pond, it’s only Christmas when Robert Dyas reappears on Twitter timelines.
‘Bisexual woman with spiraliser is such a mood.’
As of November 6, it’s officially the festive season after Derry Girls star Nicola Coughlan brought the ad back into the world.
Don’t care about the John Lewis Christmas ad only wanna see how Robert Dyas follows up on this banger pic.twitter.com/ed6G5O6H0u
— Nicola Coughlan (@nicolacoughlan) November 6, 2019
The absolutely bizarre promotion was quietly released on the brand’s Facebook page in 2015.
To jaunty music, an employee declared: “Hi, my name’s Marcus. I work at Robert Dyas and I’m gay.”
Surrounded by a blow-up Minion and capsule coffee machines, he continued: “I like going out with my friends and playing volleyball.
“I also like showing our gay and straight customers a funky range of our Christmas gifts.”
Everyone needs hobbies, even Marcus.
Suddenly, James enters. He’s holding a saucepan. He’s also straight.
“I work at Robert Dyas,” he described, “I like sailing, baking and showing off all our Christmas kitchen gadgets to our gay and straight customers.”
“I’m bisexual,” said a customer wielding the German-made vegetable spiraliser, “and I always find something I love at Robert Dyas.”
Robert Dyas, viewers are subsequently informed, is a place where “gays and straights can buy drills and much much more”.
But to Coughlan: “Bisexual woman with spiraliser is such a mood.”
Robert Dyas said ‘Gay rights! and ended homophobia.
Twitter was in hysterics over the advert. Many revelled in seeing their beloved advert gracing their screens once again:
Hey guys, I think Robert Dyas just ended homophobia pic.twitter.com/6xJ3SuiAHN
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) November 6, 2019
Users readied to embrace Robert Dyas’ wide-selection of tools and gadgets for their upcoming protests and Prides:
— SW (@TheDadBods) November 6, 2019
While straight folk experienced a collective sigh of relief knowing that they, too, can purchase household items.
“Hold me back,” said Steve, “as a straight man I’ve always worried about whether I can buy a spiraliser without prejudice.
“Now I can!”
Some folks on Twitter had lived a considerable portion of their lives not even knowing this ad existed:
WHAT IS THIS?
WHAT. IS. IT? https://t.co/d6MmCs0aHz
— Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) November 6, 2019
— Red (@ThatWeeRedHead) November 6, 2019
Many users thanked Coughlan for re-introducing the advert back into their lives. A true ally:
Big this energy pic.twitter.com/LKatrOjiA4
— James Besanvalle (@JamesBesanvalle) November 6, 2019
‘You might just get your sequel.’
But as Coughlan questioned in her tweet, how can Robert Dyas follow up with an ad that groundbreaking?
“Absolutely loving the appreciation,” the store’s Twitter account wrote, “sequels are never as good as the original.
Absolutely loving the appreciation ?? Sequels are never as good as the original but if you tell us what you’d love to see next, you never know, you might just get your sequel ??
— Robert Dyas (@RobertDyas) November 6, 2019
“But if you tell us what you’d love to see next, you never know, you might just get your sequel.”
What’s the story behind the advert?
The Robert Dyas ad appears to be a spoof of an obscure commercial for a North Carolina furniture store from 2009.
Rhett and Link’s Red House released their ‘black and white people furniture’ campaign and, considering viewers reactions, people were perplexed. Was it satirical or earnest?
In the Red House ad, an employee explains: “I’m Richard, I work at the Red House and I’m black. I like pumping iron, and pumping furniture into people’s homes.”
Paired with a catchy jingle, the furniture ad explored the hobbies of their staff and customers and discussed their race.
In the late 00s, it obliterated the internet. And it seemed that Robert Dyas were trying to do the same.
What the sequel will bring remains a mystery.
Will it show men, women and non-binary folks shopping for steam cleaners? Twinks, otters and daddies purchasing radiator reflective foam?
The world is in suspense.
PinkNews reached out to Robert Dyas demanding answers.