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Bisexual comedian Abigoliah Schamaun shares three powerful tips to help remind you of your self-worth

Abigoliah Schamaun November 1, 2019

Standup comedian Abigoliah Schamaun gives us her three tips for reminding you of your self-worth even when self-doubts can cloud our minds.

It’s 8am on the day of my final tour show.

I’ve been up since 5am. Doing that old thing where I just lay there and hope I fall back asleep.

I didn’t so here I sit, typing, sleep deprived and feeling less than stellar.

I have a section in my show, Do You Know Who I Think I Am?! where I advise people on the three points to achieve confidence. It’s a part of the show audience members like to chat to me about after the show.

Some people are actually in awe of my confidence. And it’s taken me to this final show to realise I’ve been selling it wrong.

The panic of ‘What if’s’ can snarl our self-confidence.

I didn’t come up with these tips, check them off, and BOOM! an unending fountain of confidence has shot through me.

No, they are things I remind myself all the time. They are there reminding me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get on with it.

Today I’m having one of those days where I’m already panicky and nervous about tonight. 

‘What if I fuck it all up because of no sleep? What if I forgot how to be funny?

‘What if no one shows up? What if everyone shows up?’ 

The panic and ‘what if’s’ can go on for hours if I let it.

That’s why I have my three tips.  They remind me I’m worth peoples time.

Self-doubt is something we all experience. I think that’s fine.

It’s crawling out of that self-doubt that makes us stronger people. Below are my three tips to be confident:

1. Say what you want.

Just. Say. It. Don’t do that thing. You know that thing people do?

When they say, “Excuse me, I was just thinking out loud, and if it’s not too much trouble, I don’t want to be a bother.”

Just say what you want. I guarantee if you take the initiative, and are kind and direct, people will more likely help you than if you beat around the bush.

The worst thing that could happen is someone says no and you’re in the exact place you were before and have lost nothing. But you might have got what you want.

2. Know your worth.

Whenever you have a chance to do something new or big in your career, remember you did something to get there.

Maybe you’re incredibly accomplished in your field, or your education is remarkable. 

Remind yourself of those things before you go into this new opportunity. You get to be there because you DESERVE to be there.

3. Love the body you’re in.

I know this sounds like an Instagram post, but it’s important. Even if you want to change something about your body.

Maybe you want to be able to run 3 miles without stopping, lift heavy things, or touch your toes. I promise you it’s a lot easier if you start from a place of acceptance and positivity.

There are few people who can “hate exercise”themselves into the “perfect body” if you start with a negative attitude I promise you, nothing you do will ever be enough. 

Instead, celebrate what your body can do now. Be happy you can run 100 yards and walk the rest. Before you know it, you’ll be able to run 200 yards, then halfway, then the whole she-bang.

Indulge in your own uniqueness .

Looking back to times I was uber critical of my body seems like a stupid waste of energy. Because it doesn’t matter what your size or shape is. It only matters that you feel good.

So, indulge in your own uniqueness.

You are the only you there is.

Confidence isn’t something you get and just have forever. It ebbs and flows like any other emotion.

And that’s fine. That’s normal.

When it does remind yourself to say what you want, love your body, because you’re worth it.

I remind myself all the time. I’m doing it right now.

Abigoliah Schamaun is a standup comedian and writer born in the states living in London. She is on stage tonight at 2Northdown in King’s Cross with her show ‘Abigoliah Schamaun: Do You Know Who I Think I Am?!’ at 9pm. Go towww.abigoliah.com  for tickets. Follow her on instagram or twitter: @abigoliah.

More: Abigoliah Schamaun, bisexual, comedian, mental health

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