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Coleen Rooney is, and we cannot stress this enough, giving the gays everything they want

Vic Parsons October 9, 2019

"It's.......... Rebekah Vardy's account." (Twitter/MarkDiStefano)

For those who’ve been living under a rock, in a desert, on a different planet: this day, formerly known as 9 October, will henceforth always be called… Coleen Rooney Day, obviously.

Coleen Rooney began the day by tweeting a message accusing Rebekah Vardy’s Instagram account of being the source of various stories about Coleen – various fake stories, which she had planted to find out who the person leaking information about her was.

Coleen said she’d been aware that someone was informing The Sun newspaper about information she was sharing on her private Instagram account, and to find out who it was she’d blocked every account following her from viewing her Instagram Stories – every account except Rebekah Vardy’s.

She then spent five months posting a series of fake stories – including a story about “gender selection in Mexico” (?) and the basement in her new house flooding.

Lo and behold, the stories appeared in The Sun. This meant, Coleen said, that it was Rebekah Vardy’s account leaking the stories. Vardy then responded, also with an Apple Note on Twitter.

The drama is too much for LGBT+ Twitter, which is now losing its collective mind.

Surprisingly, Coleen Rooney also managed to unite four Twitter factions that don’t usually have any crossover: Football Twitter, gay twitter, legal Twitter and 2001-2007 British culture appreciation Twitter.

The gays are, unsurprisingly, living for the drama.

Rebekah Vardy’s response, which included the line “I’m not being funny but I don’t need the money”, sent gay Twitter scrambling.

Some commiserated that the drama happened too late for Drag Race UK.

But – thank God! – it’s not too late for Halloween.

People on the internet also pointed out that the publications who’d been duped by Coleen’s Instagram investigation had reacted in different ways to the news…

… but don’t worry, Coleen has proof of everything that went down.

More: coleen rooney, rebekah vardy, Twitter, viral

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