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Patient tells nurse he can’t have a suppository because he’s ‘not gay’. Ok, then…

Josh Milton September 26, 2019
An NHS staff member wearing a stethoscope

An NHS uniform. (Getty)

If there’s anyone braver than the Marines, it’s a nurse.

A British nurse, who goes by the nickname GoddessBadger on Imgur, shared her work stories on the image website that range from sex toys in strange places (and even stranger reasons for why) to encountered racism in hospital wards.

In 11 make-shift memes the nurse made herself, she explained some of the most mesmerising and bizarre things patients have said to her.

But our personal favourite? The time a male patient said to her: “‘You can’t give me a suppository.

(Imgur)
(Imgur)

“‘I’m not gay!'”

The nurse responded: “We end up giving them an IV instead since they were adamant they didn’t want a suppository.”

Another hilarious anecdote she shared involved some leaps of the imagination (and of believable logic, too).

The meme goes: “Patient scootered in by two police officers and a sex toy in a certain orifice…”

“Says he was assaulted while he was on a run.”

“This was truly one of the most bizarre excuses I’ve ever heard for a dildo stuck up the butt,” she dryly put it.

“This patient insisted that he was minding his own business, running as he normally does in the morning when a dildo wielding assailant appeared and started chasing after him.

“He claimed he tripped and that’s when our mysterious dildo man inserted the toy…

“Did we believe him? No, and they never caught the dildo wielding man.”

Within a day, the ER/A&E nurse’s posts made the front page of the website, and comments from nurses and healthcare providers alike praised the nurse for her transparency.

Many users cheered her for speaking out about the racism she faces as a person of colour, primarily the time a patient asked her: “‘Oh, I want a white nurse.’

“They meant they want a British nurse,” the nurse said. “Racism is surprisingly common. I am British but not white so I face a lot of these comments.

“If you’re a racist, I have one thing to say to you: ‘Grow the f*** up.'”

More: fun, Health, nurse

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