Coming out can be a really tough process–especially if you are forced to before you are ready, or if you have to figure out how to deal with homophobic parents.
In a new episode of PinkNews series Ask the Aunties, our fabulous queer agony aunts answer a dilemma from someone struggling after being forced to come out to their parents.
Queer agony aunts Lee Gray and Karnage Kills give their advice on dealing with homophobic family members and looking after your mental health after telling your parents you’re LGBT+.
How to deal with homophobic parents
The dilemma—sent in anonymously—read: “I’m 19 and have been figuring out that I’m bisexual or might be lesbian.
“I hadn’t told my family because I wasn’t ready to come out but my dad guessed something was up and forced me to say it.
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“It’s been really difficult since and both my parents are homophobic. Any advice?”
Ask the Aunties: Their response
“I would leave,” says Karnage. “Get a job, rent a room somewhere, and I would probably create my own life and move away from that—you don’t need that bad energy.”
Lee agreed: “Coming out at that age, or in your case being forced to come out, and being around a family that doesn’t accept you, is one of the most brutal things.
“You have to take yourself out of that environment. I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s going to be easy—but the best thing you can do for your mental health, your physical health, is to get out of that environment.
“Also find people you can talk to—friends that you can speak to, hopefully you have people around you that accept you for who you are—because one of the worst things you can do is be going through that emotional turmoil and keeping it to yourself.”
There are also charities and helplines that may be able to help, Lee added. You can find a list of LGBT+ mental health resources here.
The previous episode answered a dilemma from someone trying to find their place on the queer, black scene.
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