Ask the Aunties: Racism on Grindr is stressing me out

Racism is a real issue on gay dating apps

PinkNews brings you Ask the Aunties, where our fabulous queer agony aunts answer your dilemmas.

From dating to telling your pals your pronouns, no dilemma is left unanswered.

Lee Gray, Karnage Kills and Rhys Hollis are the queer agony aunts you’ve always wanted, honey.

The last episode saw the aunties answer a dilemma from a worried lesbian in need of low-budget ideas for a queer anniversary present.

In this episode, the aunties answer a dilemma sent in from a gay Londoner called Rishi who is feeling stressed out and tired of “so-called preferences” on gay dating apps.

Racism on dating apps

I’m an Asian guy and I find it harder to meet people because I feel like apps like Grindr have a lot of overt racism.

People write so-called preferences in their bios and stereotype you based on your race. I’m tired of it but everyone uses Grindr and I still want to meet guys. What should I do?

From Rishi, in London

Ask the Aunties help Rishi with his gay dating app issue

Lee, Rhys and Karnage share their advice on dealing with racism on gay dating apps (PinkNews)

Watch the video above to see the aunties—unfiltered—advice.


Lee Gray is a YouTuber and part-time podcaster with Karnage Kills—together they produce a podcast about black queer men’s experiences living and dating in London, called Wolves in the City.

Karnage is a rapper and grime artist from north London, regularly performing on the queer scene. You can also listen to his tracks on SoundCloud.

Rhys Hollis is a drag queen and cabaret performer, and this year’s winner of LIPSYNC1000.

Subscribe to PinkNews on YouTube to catch new weekly episodes of Ask the Aunties. Previous episodes include a bisexual identity crisis, advice on how to come out to your family, telling people your preferred pronouns, and can you ever really find love on Grindr?