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Winter penis is a thing — and it’s coming for you

Josh Jackman October 8, 2018
HARBIN, CHINA - MARCH 24: A man strip to the waist during the Naked Pig Skiing Carnival at the Yabuli Ski Resort on March 24, 2018 in Harbin of Heilongjiang Province, northeast China. Men stripped to the waist and women wearing swim suits attended the carnival which is held to promote skiing. (Photo by Tao Zhang/Getty Images)

Winter penis is real (Tao Zhang/Getty)

Winter penis is a real medical phenomenon, so you’d better prepare yourselves.

Earlier this year, people with penises the world over enjoyed the benefits of ‘summer penis,’ which made their tools appear bigger due to increased blood flow.

And it seems that the exact opposite effect is about to leave its mark on the northern hemisphere.

MINSK, BELARUS:  Belarus students fight naked in the snow outside their school in Minsk, 12 February 2004. The thermometers in the Belarus capital showed minus 12 degrees Celsius.  AFP PHOTO / VIKTOR DRACHEV  (Photo credit should read VIKTOR DRACHEV/AFP/Getty Images)
It’s all fun and games until someone starts feeling insecure (VIKTOR DRACHEV/AFP/Getty)

As the winter months quickly approach, the days are set to get shorter — and so are penises. Not literally, of course. Phalluses have the same potential for growth all year round.

However, heat or cold can cause reactions within your body which lead to your little guy looking especially big or small.

Rebecca Dakin, a sex expert who authored 101 Sex Tips and who goes by ‘The Great British Sexpert,’ told PinkNews: “Winter penis is unavoidable.

“Winter penis is unavoidable.” (Pexels)

“For survival, male bodies are designed to redirect the heat from the penis to the vital organs in the body in cold temperatures.

“The cold can also affect erection and orgasm,” she added.

Don’t worry though, Dakin gave us some helpful tips on avoiding the worst consequences of winter penis.

“Keep snug in a close fit brief so there’s no dangling!” she advised.

Bulgarians dive into icy water as they compete to catch a cross in the middle of a lake in Sofia on Epiphany Day on January 6, 2009. It is believed that the man who is the first to grab the cross, thrown into the water by an Eastern Orthodox priest, will be healthy throughout the new year.   AFP PHOTO / DIMITAR DILKOFF (Photo credit should read DIMITAR DILKOFF/AFP/Getty Images)
Yep, that’ll do it (DIMITAR DILKOFF/AFP/Getty)

“Remember natural fibres like wool and silk will keep him toasty, and don’t forget your long johns for that extra warmth.”

Dr Pradeep Tyagi, an associate urology professor at the University of Pittsburgh, told PinkNews: “The size should remain the same in winter or summer, but there could be contractions if it’s exposed to cold.

“What matters,” he emphasised, “is the size when it’s erect. If it’s smaller after an erection, that matters too, but I don’t expect it to be.

“Erections should be the same size as normal.”

He knows all about winter penis (Pexels)

He reassured readers that in terms of sexual health, winter penis shouldn’t affect anything important.

“I don’t understand why it should be a concern because the visible size is immaterial to the function of the organ,” said the associate professor.

“There’s nothing for people to worry about.”

People have long known about winter penis, with one person tweeting in 2011: “Definitely got a case of the shrinky winter penis this morning.”

“Definitely got a case of the shrinky winter penis this morning” (ppbrannon/twitter)

And after summer penis became a widely discussed topic a few months ago, 2018 has seen a rise in people opening up about the phenomenon.

One tweeter wrote: “Does anyone else suffer from a winter penis, when it gets cold and won’t perform? ”

“Does anyone else suffer from a winter penis, when it gets cold and won’t perform?” (iamaaron_uk/twitter)

Another made clear that they were aware of the concept, saying: “Well, cold weather causes winter penis, so…”

“Well, cold weather causes winter penis, so…” (calmspacecoach/twitter)

One person commented, quite rightly, that “if you can’t handle me at my winter penis, you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my summer penis.”

“If you can’t handle me at my winter penis, you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my summer penis” (intothecrevasse/twitter)

And another tweeter said: “Proper #winterpenis weather today braving it out brrrrr.”

“Proper #winterpenis weather today braving it out brrrrr” (CharlieDugdale2/twitter)

If you have a penis, there’s a decent chance that you have a nickname for it — though you might want to change that moniker as the winter months approach.

If you’re looking for suggestions, a survey earlier this year revealed the top names which Brits call their penises.

And if you’re still feeling insecure about your size, don’t worry. In April, it was revealed that people have been lying about their penis size for decades — though only because measuring yourself leads to an inaccurate result.

More: Health, penis, relationships, Sex, sexual health, winter, winter penis

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