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Bethany Meyers pens powerful post about being bi, saying she ‘shouldn’t have to validate’ her sexuality

Ella Braidwood August 23, 2018
Musician Bethany Meyers and fiance US actor Nico Tortorella attend the 2018 MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall on August 20, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by ANGELA WEISS / AFP) (Photo credit should read ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images)

Fitness and dance instructor Bethany Meyers has written a powerful Instagram post about being bisexual, saying she stands “proud and loud” for her bi fans.

Taking to Instagram, Meyers, who is bisexual and non-binary, explained that she felt compelled to make the post after someone told her that she was a “disgrace to the gay community” on her way back from the MTV Video Music Awards on Tuesday (August 21).

She said that this was “not the first time I’ve heard comments like these and the hurt cuts deep,” adding: “Especially since they don’t know me or how I have struggled with my queerness and gender identity over the years.”

Meyers – who married her partner, actor Nico Tortorella, in March – explained that she is from a religious upbringing in the American Midwest, where she was taught that queer people “were sinners going to hell.”

She said that, consequently, coming out was a “terrifying experience because ‘love is love is love’ didn’t exist in my vocabulary for the majority of my life.”

Meyers continued: “I shouldn’t have to validate my queerness to any of you, I shouldn’t have to explain myself, but I will.

“Mostly for everyone out there who feels the same. I married someone [Tortorella] who was designated male at birth. I married them because I trusted them more than anyone else in the world. I knew we’d never get a divorce. I knew we’d be loving parents.”

The fitness instructor, who is in a polyamorous relationship with her partner, added: “When I get comments about not being “gay enough” it hurts. Aside from the way my marriage may look to others, I’m pretty gay. I’m attracted to women, I date women, I sleep with women, my friends are queer, I feel/think queer, I identity as gender fluid / non-binary, my partner the same.”

She ended her post by writing: “LGBTQIA contains a B. It’s not a pit stop. Bisexuality doesn’t go away just because you’re in a same sex or opposite sex relationship. It’s real. It exists. Bi people often feel left without a community – too gay for straight and too straight for gay – or only accepted by a community based on the gender of their partner.

“I’m over it. My dear bisexuals, I love you, stand proud and loud for our identity.”

Meyers’ post has been “liked” more than 8,000 times.

Bethany Meyers and partner Nico Tortorella in June 2018 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Mike Coppola/Getty Images for CMT)

Many social media users wrote supportive messages beneath the post.

One said: “You are a beautiful person inside and out!”

Another user exclaimed: “As a fellow bi lady who has been in relationships with men, it’s challenging to feel seen and accepted in my bi-ness a lot of the time. I’ve thankfully found a partner who loves my bisexuality and I’ve never felt more celebrated in who I am.”

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