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Say Anything rock singer comes out as queer

Josh Jackman August 20, 2018
CAMDEN, NJ - JULY 25: Singer Max Bemis of Say Anything performs at the Vans Warped Tour on July 25, 2008 in Camden, New Jersey. (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)

Bemis said people minimised his sexuality "because I found true love early in life" (Bryan Bedder/Getty)

Say Anything’s lead singer has come out as queer.

The rock band’s vocalist, Max Bemis, made the announcement in an emotional letter which also revealed that the group was breaking up.

He became the latest in a long line of musicians who have come out this year, following in the footsteps of stars like Jason Mraz, who opened up about his identity in July.

Bemis made the announcement while also revealing the band was breaking up (the a.v. club/youtube)

Under the heading “GAY STUFF,” Bemis, 34, wrote: “I have always been bi-ish or queer or a straight guy who can also like boys. I always talked or joked about it with my friends and found it to be blatantly clear I was.

“I was bullied for it and called a ‘fag’ (without irony). This is, sadly, common. I’m not special,” he added.

“I even went so far as to tell people I was also attracted to guys repeatedly. They chalked it up to my bipolar s**t, which was hurtful.”

CAMDEN, NJ - JULY 25:  Singer Max Bemis of Say Anything performs at the Vans Warped Tour on July 25, 2008 in Camden, New Jersey.  (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)
“I was bullied for it and called a ‘fag’ (without irony)” (Bryan Bedder/Getty)

The Jewish, New York-born singer, who also writes comic books for Marvel Comics, has been married to his wife Sherri Dupree-Bemis for around a decade, which he said had unfortunately affected how others viewed his sexuality.

Bemis said people “minimised it because I found true love early in life, and saw that as a negation of my sexuality, or at least a minimization of my right to even identify as bisexual or queer.

“Because I don’t want to hook up with guys. But I also didn’t hook up with a lot of girls. I wanted to fall in love with a woman, so I did.

“I’ve always been somewhat of a monogamist and my queer experiences were limited and remain mostly emotional ones,” he continued.

“They chalked it up to my bipolar s**t, which was hurtful” (the a.v. club/youtube)

“I don’t feel threatened or scared because I grew up with some amount of privilege in that regard, coming from a supportive, liberal family. So I’m not minimising how hard that can be for other people.

“I get that I have it easy.”

Later on in the lengthy letter, he fully defined his identity, writing: “I’m a queer, Jewish, Christian sceptic pseudo-anarchist with a belief in metaphysics and the application of ‘magical’ stuff.

“Woof,” he added humorously.

CAMDEN, NJ - JULY 25:  Singer Max Bemis of Say Anything performs at the Vans Warped Tour on July 25, 2008 in Camden, New Jersey.  (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)
““I’m a queer, Jewish, Christian sceptic pseudo-anarchist with a belief in metaphysics” (Bryan Bedder/Getty)

“I choose not to detail my exact experiments with my queerness or gayness or grayness or even asexuality, my semi-female spirit or any of the things I am proud of,” explained Bemis.

“I do know that all of them were enough to let me know I could identify with non-traditional sexuality, but not to a large extent, and remain sort of quaveringly Plain Jane, somewhere floating on a sliding scale.”

It’s been a huge year for musicians coming out.

Last month, Jason Mraz came out as Two Spirit, though the use of this Indigenous North American and First Nations term was condemned by many.

NEW YORK, NY - JULY 18:Jason Mraz performs on NBC's "Today" at the NBC's TODAY Show on July 18, 2014 in New York, New York. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
Mraz was responding to speculation that he’s bi (Jamie McCarthy/Getty)

Panic! at the Disco singer Brendon Urie revealed that he was pansexual in July.

BURBANK, CA - JUNE 21: Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco performs onstage during the iHeartRadio Album Release Party with Panic! At The Disco at the iHeartRadio Theater on June 21, 2018 in Burbank, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)
Urie spoke out in support of people who want to use gender-neutral pronouns earlier this year (Kevin Winter/Getty)

The emo-rock singer, who has donated $1 million to help LGBT kids in US schools, said it was “just people that I am attracted to.”

In March, Demi Lovato explained her sexuality, saying: “I’m very fluid, and I think love is love.

SUNRISE, FL - DECEMBER 17: Demi Lovato performs at Y100's Jingle Ball 2017 at BB&T Center on December 17, 2017 in Sunrise, Florida. (Photo by Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)
Demi and dancer (Gustavo Caballero/Getty)

“You can find it in any gender.

“I like the freedom of being able to flirt with whoever I want.”

Demi and a different dancer (ddlovato/Instagram)

In April, Kehlani came out as queer, not long after she kissed Lovato on stage during a concert.

The 22-year-old singer made the announcement after years of public speculation and media reports labelling her as bisexual or a lesbian.

INGLEWOOD, CA - MARCH 02: Singer Kehlani performs at The Forum on March 2, 2018 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Kehlani came out as queer (Kevin Winter/Getty)

On April 26, Janelle Monáe came out as queer.

The 32-year-old singer ended years of rumours by calling herself “a queer black woman” who wasn’t sure if she was bisexual or pansexual, adding: “I’m open to learning more about who I am.”

NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 23: Recording artist/ actress Janelle Monae attends the "Dirty Computer" screening at The Film Society of Lincoln Center, Walter Reade Theatre on April 23, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for Atlantic Records)
Janelle Monáe came out as queer (Cindy Ord/Getty)

And also in April, British pop star Anne-Marie revealed that she was attracted to women.

The rising star said: “I’ve never ever just been attracted to men. I’ve never just been attracted to women.

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 11: Anne-Marie performs during Free Radio Live held at Genting Arena on November 11, 2017 in Birmingham, England. (Photo by Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images)
Anne-Marie revealed that she was attracted to women (Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty)

She added: “I’ve never felt the need to tell anyone that I’m bisexual. I don’t feel like I am.

“I just feel like I’m attracted to who I like.”

More: coming out, entertainment, max bemis, Music, Queer, rock, say anything, US, US

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