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Watch: The first time I realised I was a lesbian

Amy Ashenden July 26, 2018

Angel and Lily talk lesbian identity (PinkNews)

From the first time holding hands in public, to the first time realising you were LGBTQ, we all have a first time story.

First Times is a new PinkNews series, with each episode dedicated to a different identity under the LGBTQ umbrella.

In the last episode, six non-binary people shared their first times.

Now the series returns with episode four, with lesbians sharing their first time experiences.

From the moment they realised they were into women, to the first time they went on a date with a woman, these six people share their stories on camera.

In this episode, Abi, Lily, Teddy, Chantelle, Angel and Saffron open up about the first time they realised they were lesbian.

For Lily Madigan, coming out as a lesbian followed coming out as trans.

She explained: “I felt like if I came out as lesbian I’d be reaffirming something to transphobes like ‘oh they’re into women, they’re obviously a straight man’ – which is a comment I’ve seen as recently as today.

“That led to a lot of internalised shame but I’m glad I got over that, and I’m very proud to be me.”

Teddy Edwardes, who runs lesbian club nights through LICK Events, never explicitly came out – but there were some clues for her mum to pick up on.

“I just think it’s weird how I brought a girl down from Manchester, from MySpace, and I never even said to my mum ‘oh, I’m gay’,” she said.

Teddy and Chantelle (PinkNews)

“But I did ask her how did you know I was gay, and she said having naked posters of girls all over my walls kind of gave it away.”

Chantelle, a DJ for LICK, added: “I was very attached to one Beyoncé poster so I think that was probably a sign to my mum.”

Angel, 36, has “always been a tomboy” and knew she was a lesbian from “when I could talk.”

Angel and Lily (PinkNews)

“I identify myself as always being a lesbian, I was born a lesbian – that’s not me trying to make a statement, that’s just me.

“In my area, I’m know as Angel the lesbian – and I didn’t even know that. Everybody knew I was gay without me having to tell them.”

For Saffron, coming out took a surprise twist when her dad also opened up about his sexuality.

She explained: “I didn’t even say I was gay or a lesbian, I was just like ‘dad, I really like girls.’

Saffron and Abi (PinkNews)

“And then my dad was sat in the corner and my friend overheard him say: ‘I was gay in art school’.”

Abi realised she was a lesbian at 13 years old.

She said: “I used to get on the same bus everyday after school and sit in the same seat, and about half way through my journey one woman would come on.

“It used to make me really happy, but I thought she was just like a cool lady I wanted to be like when I grew up.

“And then I went home that night and Googled the word lesbian.”

More: lesbian, Trans

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