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Hayley Kiyoko reveals she knew she was gay at six

Josh Jackman July 20, 2018
Singer-songwriter Hayley Kiyoko (Photo by Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for MTV)

The singer has been dubbed "Lesbian Jesus" by fans (Randy Shropshire/Getty)

Hayley Kiyoko has revealed that she knew she was gay at six years old.

But the “Curious” singer, who launched the hashtag #20GayTeen – the best queer name for 2018 in existence – said it was years before she felt accepted.

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Kiyoko – who many fans have dubbed Lesbian Jesus – said it was an isolating experience to know her sexuality from a young age.

INDIO, CA - APRIL 22:  Hayley Kiyoko performs onstage during the 2018 Coachella Valley Music And Arts Festival at the Empire Polo Field on April 22, 2018 in Indio, California.  (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Coachella)
Kiyoko also started singing when she was young (Frazer Harrison/Getty)

“All the girls would go to the Promenade to hang out with cute boys, and it made me feel very alone,” she remembered.

“It was depressing to watch girls that I liked flirt with guys. So I just stayed home.”

When she came out to her parents, it didn’t improve matters.

“They told me it was a phase, and I knew it wasn’t,” said Kiyoko.

LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 20:  Singer-songwriter Hayley Kiyoko performs onstage at MTV's "Wonderland" LIVE Show on October 20, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for MTV)
The singer knew her sexuality wasn’t a phase, no matter what her parents said (Randy Shropshire/Getty)

The singer also revealed the inspiration behind “Girls Like Girls,” the 2015 song which launched her career to new heights, saying that the idea came from her first heartbreak, at the hands of a close friend.

“This is what’s funny about being gay: I look back and I remember her as a girlfriend,” Kiyoko said.

“We never kissed. We would tell each other we loved each other and hold hands under the table. She would cuddle me and tell me she missed me.”

(YouTube/Hayley Kiyoko)
Kiyoko produces her own music video, including this one for “Feelings” (YouTube/Hayley Kiyoko)

But, the singer said, these affectionate actions only served to mislead her.

“When I went to kiss her, she looked at me like I was crazy and broke my heart,” recalled Kiyoko.

When she confronted the friend about this painful experience, years later, she denied that it had ever happened.

Kiyoko said that “Girls Like Girls,” which features two women getting closer and closer before one steals the other from her boyfriend, was her fantasy come to life.

Kiyoko with Kehlani in the music video for “What I Need” (Hayley Kiyoko/YouTube)

“There was this vision of what I’d always dreamed of seeing in a relationship between two best friends,” she explained.

“I grew up with stories of girls killing themselves, never getting the girl. It’s very disheartening because you’re like, ‘It’s gonna suck to like girls.'”

She has since turned the heartbreak into art, but at the time it caused her to stay in her locked bedroom for days, and though it led her mum to understand that her daughter’s sexual orientation was permanent, she still hid her true self at school.

“I was a likeable person and I didn’t want to all of a sudden not be,” said the star.

LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 20:  Singer-songwriter Hayley Kiyoko performs onstage at MTV's "Wonderland" LIVE Show on October 20, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for MTV)
Kiyoko playing in California (Randy Shropshire/Getty)

“I was scared.”

Nowadays, she said she still finds herself making unfortunate romantic choices.

“Normally I will date women who haven’t dated women before because I like a challenge,” Kiyoko said. “I need to stop the madness because here I am, single.”

But thankfully, she’s at least now completely comfortable with her sexuality, saying: “I love women. I love them.

“They need to love me back.”

The Disney-star-turned-queer-icon broke the internet last year with an Instagram post in which she kissed Chanel Celaya, who played ‘Headphones Girl’ in her “Gravel To Tempo” video.

Kiyoko and ‘Headphones Girl’ (Instagram/Hayley Kiyoko)

The singer also released the video for her lesbian love song “Feelings,” in which she dances, sings and flirts with a woman on a deserted street.

And earlier this year, Kiyoko and fellow queer singer Kehlani shared a beautiful kiss in the music video for “What I Need.”

More: entertainment, expectations, girls like girls, hayley kiyoko, lesbian, Music, US, US, what i need

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