Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Stephanie Beatriz has opened up about her bisexuality in a powerful essay for GQ.
The actor explained why being engaged to a man did not invalidate her bisexuality. The essay has resonated with audiences among the LGBT community and others.
“I’m choosing to get married because this particular person brings out the best in me. This person happens to be a man. I’m still bi,” Beatriz starts off.
In October 2017, Beatriz got engaged to fellow actor Brad Hoss, who happens to be a man. But she wrote in her essay that this particular relationship does not negate or limit her bisexuality.
Beatriz looks back on what she calls a “series of coming-out moments,” and the different reactions she faced from her close friends and relatives, from her friends’ jokes to being ignored by her parents.
“When do people start to grasp that this is your truth? When do you get to slide easily through life with everyone assuming your sexuality correctly?” she wrote.
For the star, the answer is clear: Never.
Beatriz thoroughly reflects on bi-erasure, explaining that sexual attraction is not confined to the partner you’re dating.
“Bisexuality often needs an explanation,” she said. “People’s sexuality is often defined by who we’re partnered with at any given moment, which can be a frustrating limitation for me.”
Mentioning her breakout role as Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, who came out as bi on the show’s most recent season, Beatriz celebrates her platform, noting she wants to use it in order to represent bi people, “people who may feel invisible and unsure of whether or not to come out as bisexual.”
She notes that there are still very few roles (“if any,” she said) that properly represent bi people in the media.
Beatriz explains that some of the misconceptions she has had to deal with since coming out were spawned by the LGBT community itself and what she refers to as the “status quo.”
On several occasions she mentions not feeling “gay enough,” or toying with the idea of “staying gay” in order not to ruffle any feathers.
These difficult moments were counterbalanced by her positive and moving experiences at this year’s Washington DC Pride.
Happy pride! I’m celebrating the biggest DC pride yet with @KaramoBrown and @marriottintl I’m joined by @casaruby @MattShepardFDN to help #erasehate and create a #safeplace in our community #lovetravels #sponsored pic.twitter.com/RcU8yqsrDB
— Stephanie Beatriz (@iamstephbeatz) 9 June 2018
As painful and uncomfortable as coming out can be, Beatriz stresses that “those moments of discomfort are worth it, because living authentically gives me so much joy and feels so honest and good.”
“In October, I will marry a heterosexual man,” Beatriz concludes, stressing that she will take her wedding vows seriously.
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“But I’ll be bi till the day I die, baby, and I vow to myself to always sing that truth.”
Beatriz’s essay was well-received on social media and even encouraged bi people to share their own experiences on Twitter, with many echoing her feelings of not being “gay enough.”
being bi is very complicated & i always feel not straight enough and not gay enough simultaneously & kinda guilty if i have a crush that isn't gay like im letting down the team anyway happy #PrideMonth! @iamstephbeatz is an angel & my crush 4everhttps://t.co/8rkzbXJveG
— gemini emo (@aislina) 21 June 2018
— meg (@megsaysthings) 21 June 2018
Beatriz will wed Hoss in October of this year.