Relationships are hard.
This is especially true if both of you are trying not to be too pushy.
And if neither of you have been told by a patriarchal society that you have the right to make the first move, things can quickly get complicated – and funny, if you’re lucky.
A conversation on Tumblr – which has been upvoted more than 1,700 times since it was posted on Reddit – shows this phenomenon in action.
It all started with a comment sent to Tumblr user tenderlesbian, an 18-year-old who describes herself as a “femme dyke.”
The anonymous post read: “SOS I told the girl I like that I want a butch gf and she said ‘I’m butch’ and I got really flustered and went to go make dinner for us (bc I’m at her place tonight).”
We’ve all been there, feeling startled and not sure what to say – except something didn’t quite add up.
Tenderlesbian responded: “uhh are you sure y’all arent on a date right now?”
After a brief pause, the reply came – and it was excellent.
“Hi yes you were right I was on a date know how I found out?” she started.
“I was downstairs cooking dinner and she came up from behind me and wrapped her arms around me and kissed the back of my neck and when I flushed bright red she asked me why and then laughed when I said I had a crush on her bc she thought this was like our fifth date but I was just taking it slow.”
Tenderlesbian was stunned, admitting to her followers: “I don’t even know what to say.”
The revelation attracted praise and similar stories, all of which were incredibly sweet, relatable and hilarious.
One person wrote: “So this is actually like exactly what’s going on in my life, we’ve had two dates and the whole time both times I’m not sure if I can even call it a date and then right as I’m about to leave she kisses me and I just like melt.”
This is ridiculously lovely – if still confusing for its author.
Another wrote: “My last girlfriend didn’t know for two weeks that I thought she was my girlfriend after asking her to ‘be mine.’
“We were in my kitchen and I said something like ‘I’m so glad my girlfriend loves food like me’ and she pieced it together then and there. TWO WEEKS LATER.”
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One commenter said: “Lesbians are shockingly oblivious. It took two-and-a-half months of my now-girlfriend sleeping in my bed every night for me to realise she liked me.”
The struggle is real.
Another commented: “An old GF and I didn’t know whether we were dating or not. We were in her car and I said, ‘Um, what… I mean, how do you feel… I guess I would like this to be more than a friendship.’
She said, ‘Oh my god, yes, me too,’ and ran off the road into a ditch.”
Communication: turns out it’s not just important; it’s potentially life-saving.
Another person said that “somewhat similar thing happened to me. i took my now gf of 7 years on a date but before the date i bought her flowers and a card that asked her to be my gf.”
But, she added, “it was a poem so she didn’t initially sink it in what i was asking and later at the end of the date she ended up asking me out.
“And i’m like.. ???? cause i thought we had made it official already before the date hahaha.”
May all your romantic confusion be this adorable.