These are the top names men call their penises
It appears that men are pretty into naming their nether regions – six out of 10 of them have, in fact.
As a person with a vagina, it can be hard to understand the phenomenon of naming your equipment.
Whether a man is a toddler or an octogenarian, it’s nothing short of a rite of passage to name what is down below.
In a bid to find out just what exactly is the most popular penis name in the country, 660 cis men across the UK were asked their favourite name for their friend – and the results are embarrassing.
According to the list published by Metro, the most popular penis name is “little man.” Okay, that’s not too bad.
“Wee man” takes the second spot, which suggests that there’s a lot of impassioned penis-naming Scots out there.
The third most-popular name, however, might make your eyes water.
Just who on this merry earth would want to ruin their sex life by calling their penis “tiny Percy?”
All size suggestions aside, the name Percy is a dubious English moniker at the best of times.
Even if we dive into the etymology of it all, Percy started out life as a surname borne by a noble English family.
The name has been knocked off its pedestal in the past 200 years, and now all it rules is the UK’s trousersnake contingent.
The full (embarrassing) list of names, courtesy of LoveHoney, can be found below:
1. Little Man
2. Wee Man
3. Tiny Percy
4. Percy Pecker
5. Fred Bob
6. Bobby Dicky Billy the Willy Jimmy
7. Jimbo/Big Jim
8. Pete the Pecker/One-Eye Pete
10. Big Boy
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And if those don’t make you wince, the ones that didn’t make the grade certainly will.
Yes, there are men in the UK that call their penises Willy Wonka, E.T., and Elvis, according to the results.
Well, what can we say folks?
All we can hope at this stage is that your sex lives are not deeply affected by the results of this survey.