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The gay sex guide to lube

Danny Polaris April 26, 2018

Whoever thought lube could be so complicated?

After an extensive (sticky), search, we’ve got a guide to these essential and sometimes misunderstood lumps of glorious goo we call lube.

After reading this, you won’t look at lube in the same way ever again. Especially if you’ve got some in your eye.

But before we get stuck into how to slip and slide and glide, we’d always condone safer sex and recommend you read our guide to PrEP, and always use condoms when having sex.

There are three main types of lube

There are big differences in what they feel like, the effects they have and what kind of sex you should use them for. These three kinds of lube are:

  • Silicone lubes
  • Water-based lubes
  • Oil-based lubes

Now it’s time to slide into a bit more detail about each type. Here’s the science part, concentrate…

Silicone lubes

(rawpixel)

This kind lasts longer than the others. It’s more comfortable for anal sex, because it’s got a thicker consistency, thus protecting the walls of your anal cavity from cuts and scrapes during sex.

The lubes don’t contain any water, which means they don’t get absorbed during use. This means during anal sex, you’re more likely to be able to merrily plough away without having to pause proceedings too many times to reapply lube.

Bottoms : along with condoms of different sizes, you should keep a bottle of Silicone lube by the side of your bed.

Experiment! Chose one that feels good for you. It’s your ass that’s getting lubricated, so make sure it’s a product that you trust and enjoy.

But hold on, it’s not all good news. You shouldn’t use Silicone lubes with sex toys because it breaks down the surface, giving your beloved toys a haggered, ‘antiqued’ appearance. Not cool.

Related: A history of gay sex: from ancient Rome to the tragic AIDS crisis

Water-based lubes

The inside of your ass is really, really absorbent. So absorbent in fact, that you can get really drunk if someone pours alcohol down your butt.

Slightly off topic? Not really. Check out our guide to the butt luge

Anyway, our point is, water-based lubes are absorbed quickly into the anal canal, so you’ll be reapplying it every few minutes. Potentially painful for the bottom guy, and a bit awkward to have to ask for more lube every few minutes.

On the plus side, they’re soothing for sensitive skin and less likely to irritate your bits. And, there’s much less mess and stickiness on your sheets when you’re done.

Oil-based lubes

Olive oil and coconut oil can feel great on your skin, and even taste good (if you like coconuts), which adds lots of extra possibilities.

Anal to oral for example, never tasted so good. However, if you’re using condoms, they’re going to make the latex ‘porous’ – basically, it’ll let your cum through, so the condom becomes a bit useless. Oils also make condoms more likely to break.

These lubes are also a nightmare to clean off the sheets, and coconut oil especially doesn’t smell like a Bounty bar after a few hours. Well, swings and coconuts.

There’s also Vaseline and Crisco in this category. The latter is especially popular with fisting. Crisco makes one hell of a mess though and destroys most fabrics.

If you’re using it for a sex session, put down some plastic sheeting. Anyway, this stuff is for another guide.

Lube and condoms

(Pexels)

Related: Here are all your rights if you are bisexual

The main points to remember are that oil-based lube destroys latex – most common condoms – so isn’t ideal for sex. However, it is less irritating on your skin than silicone or water-based lubes.

Silicone-based lube lasts the longest and is incredibly smooth, so feels good and is a good all-rounder. The down side is that it can destroy silicone toys, if you’re a fan of using them.

Water-based lube dries out quickly, and gets sticky quickly too. It literally feels great for a minute or two, then you’ll need more.

Best lubes for different types of sex

So now you know how different lubes can be, which ones to use? Well that will vary depending on what you’re getting up to. For anal sex, Silicone is the definite winner here.

For oral sex, the best kind would be water-based flavoured lubes, or coconut oil if that’s your thing.

For masturbation, you’ll want a personal lubricant for some personal time. Don’t go for water-based lubes – they dry quickly and result in sticky hands. Silicone or Oil-based lubes give you a smoother ride.

If you’re a fan of fisting, the best lubes are Oil-based lubes, like Crisco. This is gonna wreck your sheets, so put down a protective sheet.

Where can I get lube?

There are plenty of options available in supermarkets and pharmacies, but if you want something special or ‘cutting-edge,’ look online or in sex shops.

Here are some examples of different types that we’ve tried and tested.

The lubricant used for Christina's dilation
(Darin Graham for PinkNews)

Related: Internet pastor: Don’t masturbate because it’s gay sex

Liquid Silk

Water-based, with a tiny bit of silicone – which makes it last a lot longer. Clever huh? One of the most popular lubes on the market, it’s great for sex toys (even though it contains that 2% silicone), and masturbation.

Buy it here

Gun Oil

For anal sex, consider this one. It’s a Silicone lube, latex, condom and sex toy friendly (it’s Glycerin and paraben free). It lasts for ages, and contains Aloe Vera too!

Buy it here

Boy Butter

This one is a good example of one of the Oil-based lubes on the market. It’s a blend of Coconut and Vegetable Oil. It’s not latex-friendly/condom friendly, but it is organic! And washes out well from your skin and clothes.

Buy it here

Coconut Oil

You’ve heard all about this one already. You can get it from a ton of places, but here’s the Amazon link anyway.

Buy it here

Spit it out

We almost forgot the most natural, affordable and perhaps most widely used lubricant over history. Spit! Saliva has been used as a lubricant since people started having sex. Especially good for oral sex or masturbating.

For anal sex it’s less useful, unless you’re really experienced and truly know the ins and outs of your own body and its needs during sex.

More: gay sex, Lube

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