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Here’s how to learn to love your small penis

Hadley Stewart April 23, 2018

Do good things really come in small packages? You’d be surprised.

Most men worry about the size of their penis at one point or another, because we’re constantly bombarded with varying ideas of what a ‘normal’ penis size is – and because larger penises are glamourised.

If you are packing something you perceive to be ‘small’, the honest truth is you’re probably way more ‘average’ than you think, and there’s a number of reasons why.

The first is quite simple: because we look at our manhood from above, it gives the impression that our penis is actually shorter than it really is.

What’s more, nobody can really tell us what a ‘normal’ sized penis is, because various scientific studies show different penis length averages and don’t tend to classify actual penis length as ‘small’ or ‘large’.

But despite the lack of guidance when it comes to penis size, men who sit on the lower end of the penis length spectrum can feel embarrassed and self-conscious about how they size up compared to others.

Not only does this impact on them when they get changed in a changing room, it can severely affect their sexual relationships, especially around anxiety when having sex with a new partner for the first time.

Read on for all the help and support you need if you face issues with anxiety or fear surrounding your own manhood, and some more of the facts, too.

Related: This is where you can find Britain’s largest penises

Most men worry about the size of their penis

Small penis syndrome

Small penis syndrome is a psychological condition whereby a man is convinced that he has a small penis.

He might not physically have a small penis, but that doesn’t mean this psychological condition can’t have an impact for him physically.

Men who think they have a small penis might be less likely to visit sexual health clinics for check-ups, for example.

In addition, if these men find a lump or bump in the groin area, they may also delay going to see their GP and could be putting themselves at risk of physical health complications.

The advice here is it’s a little awkward for everyone when going to see a doctor or other healthcare professional about these issues – but they really have seen it all before.

Plus, you could be putting yourself or your sexual partner at risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or other health conditions if you don’t see your doctor.

There are an increasing number of men being diagnosed with this condition, which could be as a result of porn and other images of penises on the extremely larger end of the penis length spectrum.

It’s also important to remember that adult entertainment actors are usually selected based on their penis length, so no, most people don’t have such big penises.

Most sexual health doctors really have seen it all – they’re not going to judge you for the size of your penis (NHS)

Your penis has more than one length

Related: This man talked about his small penis on This Morning to tackle micropenis stigma

The penis isn’t like an arm or leg, which stays the same length throughout most of your life.

It reacts to changes in the temperature and hormonal changes in your body, so actually it does change size quite a bit during the day and night.

If you’ve ever googled ‘penis length’, you might come across a few different averages for penis length.

It’s important to know if these averages are referring to flaccid or erect penis length, because there can be quite a difference between the two.

And secondly, remember that most of the trials (including Doctor Kinsey’s) around penis length are historical and fundamentally flawed, offering inaccurate and untrue results.

Probably the most legit research ever conducted was by a team of British researchers led by David Veale in 2014, who invited men into a clinical setting to be measured by one of the team.

Their findings were startlingly lower in comparison to Kinsey’s: the average penis was found to be 5.16 inches in length and 4.59 inches in girth, over an inch shorter than Kinsey’s initial findings.

Penis size changes during the day and night (Flickr/skobrik)

Shower or grower

When a guy isn’t sexually aroused, his penis is flaccid (floppy, soft, not hard).

Let’s say you’re in the changing room and you see a few of the other guys’ penises – chances are their penises will be flaccid.

But just because their flaccid penis is slightly bigger than yours, doesn’t necessarily mean that their erect penis will be.

Dr Christian Jessen did an experiment on the TV show Embarrassing Bodies where he invited a local rugby team to measure their flaccid and erect penis lengths.

He did this to demonstrate the idea of ‘shower or grower’.

The ‘showers’ are guys that have a larger flaccid penis length.

On the other hand, the ‘growers’ are guys that have a deceptively shorter flaccid penis length, which grows much more when erect.

To demonstrate this idea, Dr Christian found that a guy with a 3 inch flaccid penis had a 7 inch long erection – that’s a 135% increase.

Another guy with a 5.5 inch floppy penis only grew about 35% to 7.5 inches.

Interestingly, these two men started out with quite a difference in penis length, but when erect they’re only separated by half an inch.

Perhaps the moral of the story here is that you really can’t tell if someone has a larger erect penis based on their floppy penis length.

If you’re worried about the length of your penis, you’re not alone. (Getty)

Micropenis

Some men are living with a medical condition known as micropenis.

This is when the penis is 2.8 inches or less when erect.

The condition is normally diagnosed during early childhood, but some adults are living with it unaware of the support available.

Because it’s a physical health condition, you’ll be able to get more information about the different avenues of support available for you from your GP.

A smaller than average penis size doesn’t have to impact your sex life

Sex tips for guys with a small penis

A smaller than average penis length doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a happy and healthy sex life.

When it comes to penetrative sex, you might wish to experiment with different positions, to find out what works best for you and your partner.

Still use plenty of lube when it comes to anal.

If your partner wants to suck your dick, and he can’t get his hands around the base of your penis, get him to play with your balls.

He can also massage the area between your balls and anus for added stimulation.

Get some sex toys in the mix if your penis can’t hit your partner’s prostate during anal – that’s why they’re there!

If you’re struggling to get hard with your partner, it might be because you’re feeling anxious – either about what they’ll think of your penis length or another reason.

Communication is important in any sexual relationship, so discussing these worries with your partner is the first step to normalising them.

Remember to communicate in the way that makes you feel most comfortable, the important part is just that you say what you need to say.

Related: Why do men send dick pics?

Condoms

Condoms also come in all shapes and sizes, so check you’re using the size that suits your penis the best.

Using a condom that is too large increases the chances of it slipping off during sex, and using one that’s too small means it’s more likely to split.

Either way, this puts you and your partner at risk of acquiring STIs, so penis length when it comes to condom use really is important.

So does size really matter?

Penis size is absolutely not the be-all and end-all of your sexual relationship.

There are plenty of opportunities for you to experiment, either alone or with your partner, to discover what suits you and your penis when it comes to sex and sexual pleasure.

And as with any connections made in life, you’ll be judged far easier on your sparkling personality than on the junk in your trunk – take our word for it.

More: gay sex, penis, penis size, sexual health

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