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The gay sex guide to condoms

Danny Polaris April 20, 2018

Condoms are an essential part of HIV prevention and an important part of gay sex for men.

The age of PrEP, barebacking and chemsex have complicated things, however, condoms are still an incredibly important tool to keep you and your sexual partners safe from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

We always support and suggest safer sex, and using condoms is a large part of this. If you’re interested in finding out more about PrEP, you can read our guide here.

PrEP may be an effective treatment against HIV, but there are a ton of other infections out there, so condoms are still essential to your daily sex life in order to decrease the risk of catching STDs.

Antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea has made its way to the UK and in 2017, cases of syphilis hit their highest levels since 1940s.

There’s also chlamydia and genital warts to think about. Sorry if you’ve suddenly lost your erection.

Apart from that, showing your sexual partners that you’re ready and prepared to use condoms is a sign that you’re someone who looks after their sexual health. That’s something that can give you both more confidence under the sheets.

Shapes, sizes and materials

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Condoms are not all the same – in fact they come in as many varieties as the guys you’re having sex with.

To start with, there are many different shapes. Ribbed and studded condoms are really designed to give an extra level of sensation to the vagina, so there’s not much point using them for anal sex with your male partner.

We suggest opting for a standard or straight-shafted condom.

Size matters. Especially when it comes to condoms. One size does not fit all, and if you or your partner has a large, extra large, or small or extra small cock, a standard size condom isn’t going to be comfortable.

It might not fit properly, which means it could come off during sex. If it’s too tight it could make you lose your erection.

There are literally dozens of shapes and sizes of condoms available – so make sure you chose the right (large or small) condom to match your dick size.

Bottoms – If you have lots of different sexual partners, keep a variety of different sizes with you so you’re always safe.

Related: read our guide to bottoming

Are condoms made from different materials?

Yes, but the most commonly used material is latex.

It’s a good one, as it can be really thin, while at the same time it can stretch by up to 800% its size. If only your penis was as durable.

Although quite rare, it’s possible to be allergic to latex so there are alternatives, such as Polyurethane and Polyisoprene which are commonly available.

Condoms made out of these materials are said to give men more pleasure because they’re thinner.

Whose responsibility is it?

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Should the top always have condoms because he’s doing the f**king, or should the bottom always have condoms because they’re getting f**ked?

Whatever your preferred role, you’re at risk of STDs without using them, go get some.

If you’ve had condoms for a really long time, check that they’ve not expired.

If you’re not sure, throw them away and get some new ones. Keep some in your pocket, in your wallet and by the side of your bed or wherever it is that you usually have sex.

You can get free condoms from sexual health centres, your GP or local hospital.

You usually won’t need an appointment to pick some up. Don’t be afraid to ask if they have large or extra large condoms if they’re the size that suit you best.

Related: Facts about the butthole: Everything you need to know to cure your curiosity

Condoms and lube

Condoms and lube go together like salt and pepper. You should always use lube with a condom. If you don’t, it could rip or tear.

Apart from that, it’ll be pretty uncomfortable for you and your partner.

Lube helps you get in there more easily if you’re a top and makes sure your partner’s cock slide in more smoothly if you’re a bottom.

The anal canal is extremely absorbent. This means that water-based lubes dry up really quickly, leaving you at risk of condoms breaking, and therefore, increasing your chances of picking up an STD.

Oil-based lubes destroy latex, which as you now know is what most condoms are made of.

Therefore, it’s really important to apply extra caution before and during sex to check that everything’s safe and well-lubricated often, and remember to keep spare condoms so you can replace one if it breaks.

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Premature ejaculation and condoms

Related: What is PrEP and how can I get it?

If you have problems with premature ejaculation, condoms can make you last longer.

They can decrease sensitivity which means you’ll be able to f**k your partner for longer before reaching orgasm.

You can also get condoms that contain benzocaine, a numbing agent which decreases the amount of stimulation the nerve endings in your penis receives.

More: condoms, free condoms

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