Have no fear, foreskin facials are here

Jasmine Andersson March 16, 2018
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The world’s obsession with staying young never ceases to amaze, does it?

We will use every single expensive measure under the sun to keep our faces free of wrinkles, and share endless tips on how to defy the inevitability of genetics.

That’s why we should use the stem cells from the foreskin of circumcised Korean boys for facials.

Yes, this is happening right now, and is said to be the youthful rejuvenation technique of the celebrity world.

“The facial includes a cleanse, followed by an intensive TCA peel, micro-needling machine and an electrifying mask to calm the skin, followed by her ‘secret box’ of EGF serum (Epidermal Growth Factor),” Georgia Louise explains on her treatment menu, reports

“EGF is derived from the progenitor cells of the human fibroblast taken from Korean newborn baby foreskin – which helps to generate collagen and elastin. FDA approved stem cells and peptides are penetrated deep into the skin using a special electric micro-needling wand. This process allows the active ingredients to be transported deep in the skin by creating temporary micro-channel.”

And of course, if it’s a treatment that the stars love – apparently Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett are fans – it’s going to be pricey.

“Sandy Bullock and I saw this facialist in New York, and she gives what we call the penis facial,” Cate Blanchett told Vogue Australia.

“It’s something – I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just because it smells a bit like sperm – there’s some enzyme in it, so Sandy refers to it as the penis facial.”

As South Korean boys are often circumcised, and the country is said to be home to numerous stem cell banks.

The treatment costs around $650 (£465). Yeuch.

Now, is there a cheaper way to get a penis near one’s face? Hmm…

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