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A porn robot has predicted your naughty searches of the future, and they’re hilarious

Josh Jackman March 7, 2018

(Getty and YouPorn)

People’s future porn habits have been revealed – at least according to YouPorn’s artificial intelligence system.

By the end of 2018, your favourite porn search terms will apparently include “girl time flanty,” “pussy firking” and “anal dangcuble”.

In fact, “girl time flanty” will be the third-most popular search, according to YouPorn. We’re not sure what flanty means – or firking and dangcuble, for that matter.

The site explained that its “data science and machine learning teams trained a recurrent neural network to look at our search trends,” and provide predictions for the end of the year.

It seems society will undergo a massive change in its language and sex trends over the next nine months, if the search terms “cornal,” “fompilition” and “batish my yisel” are anything to go by.

Porn lovers – which, let’s be honest, is most of us – will also be extremely enthusiastic about “orgysty,” “gorgy” and – scraping in at number 36 – the word “wow”.

At least “analiasing,” “cock milking table” and “lesbian masturbinge” – which comes in eighth on the predicted end-of-year list – are easier to decode.

And then there are the semi-understandable terms – those which at least partially make sense, but still sound like an alien’s interpretation of sex acts.

These include “blowmowjob,” “dick hover,” “super cum” – we can only imagine – and “big blomjob”.

And apparently the incredible success of Black Panther will boost searches for incest porn featuring main character T’Challa and his little sister Shuri to number one in the rankings.

A study released yesterday by YouPorn found that self-identifying straight men watch gay porn a quarter of the time.

Straight women reportedly choose to view gay porn 39 percent of the time.

Lesbian sex

The study also discovered that 24 percent of self-identifying straight men have had gay sex.

Again, the female figure was higher, with 36 percent of straight women reporting having had sex with another woman.

Here’s the full list of YouPorn’s predicted most-searched terms for 2018:
1. T’Challa & Shuri
2. asarian humlion
3. girl time flanty
4. Virtue and Moir
5. spray and pay
6. grandjob
7. german mom hour
8. lesbian masturbinge
9. cock milking table
10. big booble hoter french
11. passionation
12. doot sex
13. blowmowjob
14. cornal
15. fompilition
16. pussy firking
17. free iGlasses porn
18. dick hover
19. mature gargasm
20. Senator Stormy
21. anal dangcuble
22. hardbore yore
23. sexxiatore
24. super cum
25. tang pong
26. shy ol mate
27. amateur in bathreesome
28. batish my yisel
29. analiasing
30. orgysty
31. beaf buts compilation
32. blow yo
33. big blomjob
34. put fingerer
35. gorgy
36. wow

More: gay porn, Internet, porn, US, US, youporn

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