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Homophobe sues for right to marry his laptop because he wants ‘the same rights’ as gays

Nick Duffy September 8, 2017

An anti-gay troll is suing Alabama for the right to marry his laptop.

Legal troll Chris Sevier, a serial author of nuisance lawsuits, filed a new claim this week against the government of Alabama.

Sevier,  is suing the state for the right to tie the knot to his Macbook computer, claiming his right to tie the knot to his computer is the same as any gay couple’s right to marry.

Sevier, who has filed action on similar grounds in Texas, Kentucky and Utah, claims that because same-sex marriage is legal in Alabama it must also allow him to tie the knot with his computer.

His lawsuit contends that the defendants “[issue] marriage licenses to individuals who self-identify as homosexual, but he refuses to issue marriage licenses to zoophiles, machinists, and polygamists license on a basis that can only be described as procedurally arbitrary”.

A Macbook

His case is joined by three other plaintiffs trying to enter a three-way marriage.

They claim that gays are given “special treatment” in the state because their unions are recognised, unlike those to inanimate objects.

Named in the lawsuit are Alabama’s Governor Kay Ivey, Attorney General Steve Marshall and Blount County Probate Judge Chris Green.

The state of Alabama is yet to respond to his lawsuit.

In Utah, the state fought back against his claims because his laptop is not old enough to marry.

Its filing pointed out: “Under Utah law, Sevier’s computer is not a party legally capable of entering into a solemnized marriage and cannot meet the consent requirement of the unsolemnized marriage statute.

“Even if that were not the case, unless Sevier’s computer has attained the age of fifteen it is too young to marry under Utah law.

“Therefore, Sevier cannot satisfy even the most basic requirements for a valid marriage under Utah law. His factual allegations are not plausible, and his claims should be summarily dismissed.”

Alabama’s response also affirmed that same-sex marriage is not the same thing as marrying an inanimate object.

The response says: “In [equal marriage ruling] Obergefell, the Supreme Court recognized that the liberty interest in marriage, as protected by the United States Constitution, ‘requires a State to license a marriage between two people of the same sex’.

“Obergefell does not establish a constitutionally protected right to marry a laptop computer or marry more than one person.

“Nor does any decision of any court expand the right to marry to such a result. Simply put, there is no substantive due process liberty interest in marrying an inanimate object, or in marrying multiple people.

“Plaintiffs’ claims based on being denied the ability to marry a computer or marry polygamously fail as a matter of law.”

Sevier has previously been charged with stalking and harassment over unrelated offences.

More: Anti-gay, Gay, laptop, LGBT, Troll

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