This homophobic dad learned not to mess with his black belt daughter
For many LGBT people, coming out to their family is one of the biggest milestones they’ll face
Confiding that big part of their identity to some of the most important people in their life is a huge step.
Most are met with love and support from their parents, which can be hugely affirming.
Sadly, not all get a good response
This 26-year-old medicine student opened up on Reddit about her family’s awful reaction.
She explained that in the few years since she’d come out, her relationship with her parents had quickly deteriorated.
She said they never accepted her sexuality, often criticised her for “choosing the gay lifestyle” and tried to pressure her into marrying a man.
However, she wasn’t able to distance herself from them as her crippling university fees meant she was financially reliant on them.
And then it got worse
She said that finally it got too much for her father and he “blew up”.
“He yelled insanely loud at me for ‘not thinking’ and ‘choosing the gay lifestyle’ and the path I am on.
He told her she was “a burden,” that she was “disrespecting him” and that because she was his daughter she “must do what [he] says.”
Then he went over the edge.
“He then proceeded to grab me and try to hit me,” she said.
But the father forgot who he was dealing with
“I am a black belt, so I blocked the pretty hard smack,” she said.
It seems his daughter standing up to his physical attack seemed to knock a small amount of sense into him.
“He has raised his voice to me before about the subject, but has never attempted to hit me.”
However, when she tried to explain her sexuality to her father after the incident, he still refused to understand.
He told her that she was “biologically a female” so he doesn’t understand why she has “chosen this way of life”.
She asked Reddit for advice about what to do next
She said that if she could, she would cut off ties to her parents as soon as possible, but she relies on their money to get through medical school.
“He’s paying for my rent, my schooling and tuition, my cell phone bills, anything and everything you can think of.”
“I could take out student loans and be done with him, but the thought of having hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt that lasts for life compared to putting up with him for just a couple more years until I’m making my own paycheck just doesn’t sit well,” she said.
“But having him in my life right now, with him treating me the way he does, trying to halt my life and happiness also doesn’t sit well.”
People on Reddit were quick to provide support, and advice about how to cut ties
“I am so sorry your dad did that to you. They sound pretty rotten at times. Do what will make you happiest, safest, and continue to have your dreams happen,” one commenter said.
Many said she should not let her parents use their money to keep a hold on her, and urged her to seek advice about her financial situation.
“I’m a member of the LGBT community, but I think taking his hate money is degrading. You are trying to be a strong, independent woman, but you’re not practicing that lifestyle. Take out the loans, show him you can do it without him.”
“You asked what I would do in this situation. I would be filling out the loan papers. School is an honorable debt. There’s no shame for incurring debt to stand on your own two feet. The option is to be indebted your whole adult life to your abuser.”
But others suggested the ultimate revenge – success
They said there was no shame in tolerating her parents, and just minimising arguments with them, until she was done with university and could thrive on her own.
“In my view, living off his dime and then cutting all contact once you have your doctorate would be the ultimate “f*ck you” to your sh*thead of a father,” one said.
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“A good way to deal with this is treat it like a business transaction- your dad is a ‘patron’ helping you achieve needs to an end, which while you appreciate that, you don’t have to be anything more than civil.
Don’t minimize yourself, but I see no issue in keeping his backing to achieve your dreams- sometimes people must be ruthless in such a world where money is difficult,” another said.
“Take his money, then cut him off after you graduate. It’ll be sweet revenge.”
Whatever she decides to do – best of luck to her!