Answered: The myths about same-sex parents adopting (and why you should do it)
There are many children waiting to find the right family.
If you’ve considered adopting, but are unsure what to do, then Coram specialises in helping parents find the right children for them.
Coram, who run one of the largest and most well respected independent adoption services in the UK, are committed to finding them loving and supportive homes where they will feel happy and loved.
Adopting siblings does have its challenges, but can be a hugely rewarding way to make a family.
Steve and Jonathan approached Coram because they were very keen to be dads.
They adopted two boys who were two and six years old – and a few years on their new family is doing really well.
Most families need some support and advice in the early days of becoming a family – it’s a big adjustment going from no children to two kids who are already walking and talking!
Steve and Jonathan were able to think about things from their sons’ points of view, and understood that they had both had some tricky experiences before they got to be in a stable family with their two dads.
Coram was able to provide the extra help the family needed through their excellent Adoption Support Team.
This is Steve and Jonathan’s experience.
What was the adoption assessment process like?
We expected the adoption process to be rigorous and demanding – and it was. But, in many ways, we found that reassuring – children’s futures are at stake and it helped us to understand what we could cope with and, frankly, what we couldn’t. At no point did we ever feel we were treated or judged differently to anyone else going through the same process. We also found all of the training and information we were given throughout the adoption process enormously valuable in supporting us in dealing with the children when they arrived.
What were your anxieties beforehand?
Not being accepted. Not being a good parent. Having our nice lives turned upside down – despite all of the expert preparation we received from the professionals at Coram. We worried about having our fantasies about being parents shattered. We did sometimes imagine ourselves cooking supper and the kids running in and jumping up and saying “Daddy I love you!” We aren’t saying that never happens but, in reality it’s not an everyday occurrence!
Why did you want to adopt siblings?
We wanted the kids to have something constant in their lives, given all the traumatic change they’d lived through. That’s worked well for us – the boys are deeply protective of each other – even if they don’t always recognise it when they’re squabbling like siblings do. We also wanted a family of more than one child, and we figured that the adoption process would be hard enough to go through once , let alone twice or three times! So we decided to go for the ‘whole family at once’ option.
How has adopting changed your lives?
Totally and utterly transformational in a chaotic and wonderful way! ‘Don’t panic nothing is under control’ is sometimes how it feels! We used to look forward to posh restaurants and romantic weekends away and we still do, but I think we appreciate little luxuries much more now that everyday life is about rationing fast food and camping weekends!
Why choose Coram and what is Coram’s experience?
Coram has been helping children find new parents for more than 40 years, they are dedicated to working with you towards being approved as an adoptive parent and to match you with a child or siblings in need of a permanent, loving home.
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The team at Coram are proud of the sensitive and professional service they offer adopters and children.
Coram believe that becoming a family is not the end of the story and recognise that adoptive families and their children may need support of different kinds as their children grow. Adoption support is available to all Coram families for as long as they need it.
Coram Capital have offices in Central London and South London and offer a prompt and welcoming service to people who are considering adopting in the Central or Greater London area, visit their website to find out more.
Coram Cambridgeshire Adoption are based in Cambridge and Huntingdon and have a geographical reach to Norfolk, Suffolk, West Essex, East Hertfordshire, and North East London areas, if you reside in this area and want to find out more, visit the website.
Coram Adoption East Midlands is based in Shepshed, near Loughborough and would love to hear from you if you are interested in adopting and live in the East Midlands area. They accept applications from prospective adopters who live within one hour’s drive of our office near Loughborough, for more info, visit the website.