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15 virginity horror stories that are almost too awkward for words

March 1, 2017

Losing your virginity can be hard, and scary and actually quite weird.

Everyone has their own story about their First Time, and not many of them are romantic and sweet.

We asked PinkNews readers to share how they lost their V, and this is what they had to say.

1 Lesson lubed:

“I had no idea how much it would actually hurt. I started yelling out loud at first and he was all, ‘oh man he loves it’ and I was more ‘OMG get out of me’. But luckily the class was talking loudly so no one heard.”

school

2 This casual encounter:

“I lost my virginity in a casual sexual relationship with someone. The problem – and it was a big problem – was having to deal with the emotions that come as part of that. Especially when those feelings are not reciprocated. My lesson hard learned: don’t lose the v to someone who doesn’t really like you.”

3 That whole personal space thing:

“Girl I did it with the first time went wrong but still was OK. Only problem was the guys next to us while we did it… So not a lot of privacy!”

guys

4 Butter me up:

“Not being taught about same-sex sex, I didn’t know you needed lube. Like why would you? There was no sex ed in school and when it came to getting it on I didn’t exactly think, ‘oh, let’s just slap some Uteerly Butterly on this.”

5 Friend zoning:

“The fear of getting caught by his friends in the other room. He wasn’t out [as gay], and no one knew that we weren’t ‘hanging out’ but were actually on a date… A sexy date.”

6 You can’t have sex without ex:

“He spent most of my first time talking to me about how amazing he is and how his ex-boyfriend has an amazing job as a doctor. like, I now know talking through sex is bad anyway. talking about your ex is properly shit.”

ex

7 Growing up without doing it:

“I was really embarrassed about being so inexperienced. I was 30 when I first had proper sex, and half the reason I spent so long waiting was because the thought of doing it for the first time just got more terrifying with every year older. It wasn’t that bad, though!”

8 Being totally cool af:

“Afterwards I was pretty excited still and told him in a giggly way ‘guess what, you just took my virginity’. Oh, never say this. His response was ‘uh huh, yeah’ and looked at me like a freak.”

9 Bro-zone:

“As soon as they finished they looked at me and said ‘I can’t go again’, so I thought I’d done a pretty good job. Then he went downstairs to show his mate the used condom. So. So. So gross.”

10 This very valid point:

“He kept his socks on and it really confused me as to why.”

socks

11 This actually quite aggresive encounter:

“It’s kind of a long story, but, well, I threw up on his cock and then kneed him in the balls trying to run to the toilet. The relationship didn’t last much longer after that.”

12 Team work:

“The fact it was in a bathroom, we could hardly fit… I found the guy quite annoying too. The girl was really nice though.”

three

13 A load of hot air:

“Not knowing how to give a blow job. I kept blowing, I was like bloody Storm Doris, and still he didn’t get hard.”

14 Confusing sex with an IKEA trip:

“He asked whether I wanted to be top or bottom, and I was like, ‘er, bottom?’. Turns out he wasn’t asking which bunkbed. That hurt.”

15 MOTHERS:

““My mum walked in, and I screamed the place down, then she ran and told my dad.”

mum

More: bisexual, Gay, lesbian, list, Sex

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